|needles / piercings||electrocution||minor illness or injury||atonement||fever / delirium|
|cuddling||learning to be loved||panic attacks||gaslighting||shipwrecked|
|first transformation||bruises||WILD CARD||insomnia||accidental mating for life|
|imprisonment||falling||loss of limb / amputation / mutilation||surgery||healers|
|mutation||fire||explosion||comfort food or item / feeding someone||poisoning|
Author: TheCrazyAlaskan / fireweed15
Fandom / Setting: Original – 1758
Characters / Pairings: Shula Demirci, Azar Demirci, Lily Demirci (polyship)
Word Count: 2,454
Warnings / Notes: Written for Round 8 of the Hurt / Comfort Bingo: Poisoning; dubiously self-translated Turkish
Summary: She was far from the only person who knew her deadly plants—and no more invulnerable than any other man.
Little to no context for you, typing up bios would take forever. They're some OCs a friend and I spitball back and forth with each other lmao
-- -- --
Word count: 3,929
Content: HP-Disney fusion, crackpairing, Belle is Hermione's ancestor, cursed time-traveller Voldy, transfigured Death Eaters, a dusty castle, gay wizard soulmates Cogsworth and Lumiere, bad attempts at seduction, a magical corpse flower, Voldemort dragging himself, angry mobs
Why, you might ask, WHY.
And the answer would be, IT WAS ALL IOANA'S FAULT. Plz take all complaints to her. (Here's the terrible video she forced me to watch and that inspired the whole thing.)
"You can be redeemed, as I was saying," and here Cogsworth glares pointedly at Lumiere, "but for that you must fall in love and be loved in return."
"I must what?" Voldemort startles.
"But we don't have all century, so there's a time limit," Lumiere adds, scowling. "In your private chambers, we've left a charmed corpse flower. To fit with the theme, you know," it says, wriggling its eyebrows. "When it blooms, and the lovely rotten-flesh smell spreads everywhere, you will all be stuck like this forever."
( To love a Voldemort )
Rating: Teens and up
Word count: 2,183
Content: queerplatonic (or vaguely romantic) relationship, kink bingo fill aka pure (platonic/non-sexual) smut, Killua's slightly disturbing POV, freedyck is the true ship name, five kinktastic kinks, Gon is kinda fucked up, Hiatus X Hiatus, references to Ging being a dick and Silva being mysteriousTM
Warnings: casual references to assassins and death, Killua's trauma-filled little head, roleplay of violence (threats and fake blood included, no actual violence except for consensual breathplay), under-negotiated and dangerous kinks
Is it platonic? Is it romantic? Nobody knows.
But I absolutely needed the freeforms "Hiatus X Hiatus" and "FreeDyck" to grace the world with their blessing, so here we are. No, that's not the only reason I've written this fic. Filling a line in the Kink Bingo was also a factor, but I must admit, a minor one.
So anyway, the kinks for this round are Roleplay, Held Down, Breathplay, Danger, and Writing on the Body.
"I need you to pretend you've been sent to kill me," Gon says, slowly. And Killua realizes this has to be Gon's way of coping, but really. Before he can even open his mouth, though, Gon adds, "It's... an excercise."
"It doesn't make sense," Killua replies, scowling.
"It doesn't have to. It's just... something." And then he delivers the killing blow. "It's different when it's Killua."
( A breath away's not far )
Rating: General Audiences
Word count: 1,351
Content: crack treated seriously, polyamory, crackpairing making sense, references to other members of polyamorous net, Miguel and Tulio are Flynn's parents, Shrek is so done, Rapunzel being Rapunzel, flower crowns, secretly-marshmallowy green creature, secretly-cute talking pegasus
For the record, I didn't mean to write this at all.
This monster was born out of horrifying tags, an offer of cookies to take to Satan (without raisins, thank you very much), and a joke that turned into a dare that turned into... this.
I'd like to personally thank Nrandom for securing my place in Hell.
Shrek has two weaknesses: headstrong princesses and talking animals.
Just not the ones everyone has come to expect.
( The violets in the mountains have broken the rocks )
Rating: General Audiences
Word count: 1,178
Content: fic response to ridiculous manga, strangers marrying (kinda?), creepy Christian Grey-sounding main character, random Hugh Jackman appearance as a Wolverine Cupid, Paris Eiffel Tower vs Las Vegas Eiffel Tower, terrible plot twist, escalators being important, the seven points
For evitably (doughie).
I hate this ridiculous manga so much.
The only good part is that I didn't have to worry about anyone being in character. Sure takes away the pressure.
Yuu doesn't fall in love with her because she dresses like he's always imagined the woman from Venus in Furs would dress.
But it's a close call.
( A Single Man In Possession Of A Good Fortune )
Word count: 11,289
Content: ML in a Hogwarts setting, Slytherin Alya and Marinette, Gryffindor Nino and Adrien, betrayed by honey, animagus Marinette and Adrien, Miraculous side effects, bug resident expert Marinette, Adrien is Queen Bee for a while, friends shipping it, terribly awkward moments, bad-at-flirting Adrien, Nino and Alya are so so done, side pairings Nino/Alya and Adrien/Croissants, Plagg being a literal messenger cat
I had to make Adrien's birthday up because apparently it's not stated in the show, despite having an entire episode about it. Huh.
And I'm still not sure this shouldn't be labelled crack, but well. Oh, and there's some unavoidable exposition, because trying to turn their miraculous tranformations into animagi ones is kind of really hard. And please ignore the whole "French students going to Hogwarts" inconsistency; feel free to apply your own headcanons (they're not French? Beauxbatons is actually that too-cool-for-you private school most people avoid so 90% of French people go to Hogwarts instead?).
At least you'll probably learn something? I did actual research, so all the bug stuff is 100% real.
"Was that like an Unbreakable Vow?" he hisses when they reach the Astronomy corridor. "Did you just make an Unbreakable Vow with a child?"
Ladybug's expression is so ridiculously incredulous that Adrien would probably laugh, if he didn't suddenly feel so ashamed.
"It was a pinky promise," she says, slowly. Adrien has the feeling he's not getting it, and Marinette must notice, too, because she only sighs. "No, kitty, it's not an Unbreakable. Not even close. But I did take pinky promises pretty seriously when I was eleven," she adds, shrugging. "We'll be fine."
"We won't be fine," Adrien reminds her, grinding his teeth. "I'm a bee."
( Let the honey soak through )
Word count: 1000
Content: rarepairing, flustered Michael, pre-Fall and pre-slash, annoyed Lucifer, everyone pines, Lucifer being a dick and a tease, supposedly fluff but also bitersweet ending, Michael being very obvious, brotherly wrestling as low-key foreplay
Warnings: pseudo incest (sorta)
Tbh I just wanted to have a goddamned relationship tag for Michael/Lucifer, so sue me. I clearly have IssuesTM. (Although I still can't tell if this counts as incest or not.)
The characterization is probably a bit off, but these are the early pre-Fall days, so everything is different. I'm being tempted by a very mean plot bunny involving actual explicit stuff post-Fall, though... we'll see.
Michael knew before Raphael, before anyone.
Word count: 907
Content: Deadpool being Deadpool, the not-so-secretly Peter/Wade romance, Peter is so done, what happened in a church not staying in a church, mentions of wholesome American Steve, the Avengers being out of coffee, Wade's Instagram, bacon-flavored condoms, Deadpool playing priest
For CheyanneChika (Chels).
In my mind, this is sort of an unnoficial, spiritual sequel to CheyanneChika's "Forced Confessions" (which you should absolutely read, btw, because it's hilarious).
Also, this makes absolutely no sense and I know next to nothing about the characterization of Peter, Deadpool, or Tony. Please take all complains to CheyanneChika, who is totally at fault.
Deadpool setting foot on a church can only lead to disaster.
"Bizarre is too small of a word," Peter said, after a second. And he added, mortified despite himself, "The sentence Forgive me, Father Wilson, for I have sinned might have been uttered."
1) Do you want to get married?
Nope, that is not one of the plans I have for my life (I have plans for my life - huh). I've never nurtured many plans about my wedding, and due to my tendency to be single, marriage have not been much of a plan either
2) Where would you like to get married?
Due to lack of religion in my life, it would have to be a civil wedding, which would have to be at the courthouse here in Bergen. That said, I'd really like to have the Star Trek Next generation theme (To boldly go where no strike>man one has gone before) as my wedding march. Just because.
3) If you were getting married in a week, who would be in your wedding party?
All my friends and my family! And my partner's friends and familiy of course. Because I love parties! there will be food, drink, speeches, more drinks, cakes, games, dancing, cakes, midnight snacks and dancing into the night. And the next morning, there will be breakfast.
4) What would your wedding colours be?
Weddings come in colours? If I'm getting married, I'll probably wear my Norwegian national costume -Bunad - with a bridal crown.
5) Does marriage mean to you 'til death do us part?
Whereas I do consider marriage to be a commitment and a contract, I do not think it unbreakable. Sometimes people change, circumstances change, and I consider a divorce to be better than an unhappy marriage.
And of course, this makes a nice intro to me talking about my upcoming travels, which goes to Berlin. I'm leaving on Tuesday with my friend K. We will be sightseeing around in Berlin until Sunday, when she goes home, and I am off to celebrate the wedding of two of my former students. Yes! Finally, after ten years of dropping hints, someone has at least taken my hints and invited me for their wedding. Granted they met in my class, so I have kind of had the best seat in watching their romance unfold.
I have also promised to hold a speech at their dinner. Which I will have to come up with before leaving, since I suspect I will not have time to be creative while being a tourist, drinking beers and looking at stuff.
And after that, when I come back, I will finally put my suitcase in the attic for a while, becasue taht will be the last trip in some time. Of which I am rather glad. Although weddings make me happy. Cakes! Dancing! People!
So the course was in Quimper, which is in Brittany, France's western arm. I did the same course last year. Then I didn't know anything, and I was the only one there without any knowledge of a Celtic language, those who didn't study one (mostly the old varieties like Old Irish), were native speakers of one (mostly Welsh), so to me nothing of the Celtic languages weird typology made sense. This year I took level two - I was still the only one who didn't know any other Celtic language, but things finally started to make some sense.
So we had language lessons in the morning, mostly in Breton only, and culture/history in the evening, and most of thes were in French, which is one of the reasons for the lack of spark left in my brain, because even though I did French is school, and was good at it, it is 25 years ago, and we definitely didn't learn much of the vocabulary you need to follow a lecture on 17th century religious debates.
But it was fun this year as well. Fun, but extremely exhausting. Perhaps I'll put up some pictures later on.
After Brittany I took the plane from the hilariously small airport in Quimper - I thought I'd seen my share of small airports, but this one is the smallest, and least organised so far. And they didn't even have a cafe!
Then I spent a couple of days in London, mainly doing nothing; drinking beer and looking at people. But one story needs to be told:
My second day in London, after I had done what ws my plan for the day, namely have a look at the Billingsgate Roman Baths, I ambled up to British Museum, since I have this habit of checking out a couple of rooms at the museum every time I visit. I hadn't thought of the enormous amount of tourists visititing, so the queues were just too long for me to bother with, so I just found myself a pub, bought a pint and pulled out my book. After about 10 pages, and older guy comes over and asks if he can sit by my table. And then we start talking. He tells me that he's here with his grandchildren and wife. His wife is English and he is of French ancestry, but live in Vancouver. So now they are in London a couple of days, and then they are of to France to visit his family.
Then our exchange was as follows:
-Where in France do you have family?
-Quimper in Brittany.
-You got to be kidding me! I just came from Quimper yesterday! I spent two weeks on a course in Breton there.
And then he switches to Breton!
I did have problems following of course, since he spoke a different dialect than I was used to, not to mention having learnt from his mother (who still talks to her sisters on the phone every day in Breton), so not quite my "book Breton".
That was just an amazing coincidence, and definitely made my day.
Now I'm back in Bergen and have spent a week in bed with bronchitis (again!)