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[goe_mod]

Title: Teen Write Club Plan
Rating: T
Pairings: Aziraphale/Crowley, Anathema/Newt
Warnings: None

Summary:
Anathema Device, children's librarian, enlists the help of two coworkers and a volunteer to organize a writing club for local teenagers. Shenanigans ensue in their group chats.

(Friday, 16/3 at 14:27) adevice created a new group

adevice added afell and bitchinbentley69 to the group

adevice changed the group name to Teen Writers Club Pl

adevice: Shit. 20 character limit

adevice changed the group name to Teen Writers Plannin

adevice changed the group name to Teen Write Club Plan

adevice: There

bitchinbentley69: you good?

adevice: Peachy

afell: Who is "bitchinbentley"?

adevice: Crowley, my volunteer. Doesn't have an email in our network, obviously

afell: I think it's a rather inappropriate name to use whilst planning a group for children.

bitchinbentley69: oh this guy's gonna be fun

adevice: The kids won't be in this chat. But don't worry Azi, I can change it if it's a problem

adevice changed bitchinbentley69's name to Anthony

Anthony: oh come on

adevice changed afell's name to Aziraphale

adevice changed their name to Anathema

Anathema: There, now we're even

Anthony changed their name to crowley

crowley: :P

Anathema: :P

crowley: who even is this guy

Anathema: Head librarian. He wanted to help out (instead of weeding the mystery section like he's supposed to)

crowley: ohhh yeah you mentioned him

Aziraphale: Brilliant! Now, with introductions out of the way, I'd like to welcome everyone to our Teen Writers Club planning group chat!

crowley: oh my god you can't be serious

Anathema: You volunteered for this buddy

crowley: yeah but i didn't know we'd be working with a sitcom mum on it

Aziraphale: And I didn't know I'd be working with a pestilent rapscallion on this, but you don't see me griping about it.

crowley: oh my god. anathema how do you work with him every single day without going mad

Anathema: Boys. Play nice. For the sake of the kids at least

crowley: :P

Aziraphale: You keep saying that. What does that mean?

Anathema: It means he's sticking out his tounge

Aziraphale: Well, that's a bit rude.

crowley: anathema what's a tounge

Anathema: Tongue. Shut up. Let's just get started

crowley: fine

Aziraphale: Very well.

Anathema: So I'm thinking we'll start each session with some kind of warm up exercise. Like, "write 100–200 words and use all 5 of these vocabulary words" or something

Aziraphale: Oh, that sounds lovely! I can think up a list of vocabulary words if you like.

crowley: ones that have been uttered this century, preferably

Aziraphale: They'd just be standard middle-grade vocabulary, words such as "behove" and "gallivant."

Anathema: Then maybe we could have an optional prompt each time so they can either work on that or their own stuff. And then at the end they can share if they want to, but again optional. And then maybe a prompt to take home?

crowley: no. absolutely not. no homework. i can deal with mr jolly old drip and his 17th century thesaurus, but homework is where i draw the line

Anathema: I could make that optional too, maybe

crowley: if you make everything optional then they won't do any of it. these are kids we're talking about here. a children's librarian should know better

Anathema: Fine. No homework. How do you feel about the other stuff?

Aziraphale: I think it all sounds lovely.

crowley: yeah, everything else is fine

Anathema: Okay cool. I might go out and buy some cheap notebooks too in case any of them need one

Aziraphale: Have you any idea where you're planning on holding the meetings?

Anathema: Yeah, I was thinking the big table in the reference room should be good. It can fit 10 people and I assume we won't have more than that at our first one. We just have to make sure it's at a different time than those old men with their gardening group lol

crowley: so what time are you thinking? i'm not leaving home before noon, fyi

Aziraphale: Oh, we've got quite the early bird on our hands, I see.

Anathema: Well if we do it on a weekday it will have to be after school. How about Thursdays at 4? And I was thinking every other week

Aziraphale: Ooh, "fortnightly" would be another good vocabulary word.

crowley: not if you want them to write about anything other than video games

Aziraphale: How do you mean?

Anathema: Okay great work everyone! Azi, get me your list of words by Tuesday. I'll come up with a prompt or two. And I'll run all of this by Gabriel, but I'm sure he'll be fine with it. Meeting adjourned!

Aziraphale: Wonderful! I'll have those words to you "alacritously."

crowley: fine, see ya thursday, if i'm awake by 4

Teen Write Club Plan (Thursday, 22/3 at 17:45)

Aziraphale: Well, I'd call our first meeting a success!

crowley: there was literally one kid there

Aziraphale: Yes, but he said he's bring his friends next time.

Anathema: Hey, if it was gonna be any one kid, I'm glad it was Adam at least. I've never met anyone else with an imagination like his

crowley: true. it's just too bad he didn't know how to fit the word "ubiquitous" into his story about robot pirates

Aziraphale: He complimented my list!

crowley: "i've never even heard any of these words before" is not a compliment

Aziraphale: Well, what have you done to contribute to any of this?

crowley: bought the notebooks AND anathema's coffee on my way in today. plus i'm sorta just the cool slightly irresponsible uncle of the group

Anathema: I really appreciate both of your help. But I don't appreciate your constant bickering. I swear you two sound like an old married couple

Aziraphale: I resent that statement.

crowley: yeah same, and besides, i'm happily taken

Anathema: Oh yeah? By who?

crowley: freddie

Anathema: Your cat?

crowley: yeah, he's all the companionship i need. and he's never said a single outdated vocab word in his life

Aziraphale: I can't imagine a cat would be particularly loquacious.

crowley: please don't put that on your word list next time

Aziraphale: It's going on the list.

Anathema: You two sort out your issues on your own time. If anything comes up let me know, but otherwise I'll see you in two weeks

crowley: fine. but if you keep making comments about us seeming like a couple then next time's coffee won't have sugar.

Teen Write Club Plan (Tuesday, 3/4 at 10:16)

Anathema added npulsifer to the group

Aziraphale: Hello, Newton!

Anathema changed npulsifer's name to Newt

Newt: Hi Aziraphale

crowley: who's this

Anathema: Our IT guy. He had some cool ideas for the club, like once in a while we could have dramatic readings of our stories, and he can help with, like, setting up some mood lighting and maybe getting some visuals on a projector or something

crowley: oh cool

Anathema: He's also my boyfriend

crowley: nice

Newt: I'm happy to help :)

crowley: isn't he the one who's been setting stuff on fire though

Newt: :(

Anathema: Hey, he's getting better! Who even told you about that?

Aziraphale: Well, he asked about some of the others who work here. So I told him Gabriel is the director, and Mr Shadwell is the custodian, and Miss Hodges is the archivist and Newton is the IT technician who happens to occasionally set fire to things.

Anathema: You didn't need to include that last part

Aziraphale: I wanted to be thorough.

Newt: I'm not even sure how I got this job, to be honest. I'm rubbish with technology

Anathema: It's called lying on your application. We all do it

Aziraphale: I've never done that!

Anathema: Oh. Well don't tell Gabriel I said that then

Aziraphale: Very well.

crowley: lol

Anathema: So yeah, anyway, I think our second meeting is a bit early for anything too ambitious, but Newt will be around to help with stuff going forward

crowley: sounds good. see you thursday if he hasn't burned the library down by then

Newt: Thanks. I'll try my best not to

(Thursday, 5/4 at 18:08) adevice created a new group

adevice added afell, npulsifer and bitchinbentley69 to the group

adevice changed the group name to Teen Writers Group C

adevice: Fuck

adevice changed the group name to TeenWritersGroupChat

adevice changed bitchinbentley69's name to crowley

adevice changed their name to Anathema

Anathema changed afell's name to Aziraphale

Anathema changed npulsifer's name to Newt

Anathema added youngyoung4, itsbri, feministwhale and jwensleydale to the group

Anathema: Hey kids!

jwensleydale: Hi Miss Anathema

Anathema: Hi Wensleydale!

itsbri: hi

Aziraphale: Oh, what's this?

Anathema: I figured it would be a good way to keep in touch between meetings

crowley: sweet. now i can foment rebelliousness amongst the youth

Aziraphale: Foment! That's a good one!

crowley: please god no

Anathema: And remember not to swear, Crowley, there are kids here now

crowley: why me?

feministwhale: it's nothing we haven't heard before

youngyoung4: yeah and it's nothing pepper hasn't said before

feministwhale: exactly

Anathema: I don't trust you, Crowley

crowley: you're the one who said fuck just now before the kids joined

Aziraphale: Crowley! There are children here! Stop using that word this instant!

crowley: make me

Aziraphale: Perhaps I will!

feministwhale: am i the only one sensing the tension here

youngyoung4: nope

Anathema: Definitely not

crowley: shut up

Aziraphale: Oh, please. I'm not interested in anyone so immature and arrogant.

crowley: and i'm not interested in some stuffy stick-in-the-mud librarian no matter how hot he is

Aziraphale: Excuse me?

feministwhale: oh shiiit

Anathema: Did you just admit to something you didn't mean to admit to

crowley: no. i never said i was talking about HIM. just y'know hypothetically IF a stuffy librarian was hot

feministwhale: uh huh sure

jwensleydale: Actually, my mum says open communication is very important in a relationship

crowley: we don't HAVE a "relationship" kid. he's just an annoying guy i have to work with for this

Aziraphale: The feeling is mutual.

Anathema: This is not how I expected this group chat to go

crowley changed Aziraphale's name to annoying

annoying: Very funny.

annoying changed crowley's name to Fiend

Fiend: rude

Anathema changed administrator settings

Anathema: You two have too much power. No more name changing

feministwhale: i didn't know you could do that! can you change my name to "pepperbitch"

Anathema: No

itsbri: wait, so nobody can change names now?

Anathema: No, I still can, but I'm not changing it to that

feministwhale: fine. just pepper then?

Anathema changed feministwhale's name to Pepper

Anathema: Anyone else?

itsbri: me!

Anathema changed itsbri's name to Brian

Brian: aw, i wanted to be something cool. like laserman or something.

Anathema changed Brian's name to Laserman

Laserman: sweet

annoying: I think this is getting a bit out of hand.

Anathema: Fine. Names done for now

annoying: Could you change me back?

Anathema: No. You and Crowley are in time out. Sit in the corner and think about what you've done

Newt: What did I just walk in on?

Anathema: Oh hey. Yeah a lot is going on

Newt: I won't ask

annoying: Since we're all here, would anyone like to help me brainstorm for next week's vocabulary list?

Fiend: shouldn't you be weeding the mystery books?

annoying: That's not as fun.

youngyoung4: how about some easier words this time. ones that we actually know what they mean

jwensleydale: Yes, actually, I think the words you gave us today were a bit too difficult

annoying: Very well. How about "cornucopia" to start?

Fiend: you know, if you scare them off of ever coming to the club again, that will leave you with plenty of time to work on that mystery section

annoying: Fair point. How about "fiend" then?

Fiend: better

Anathema: What have I said about the two of you sorting out your issues on your own time? Unless there are any more suggestions, we'll see you kids on the 19th

Laserman: see you then!

Pepper: they'd better have kissed by then

TeenWritersGroupChat (Monday, 9/4 at 12:21)

youngyoung4: guys i need help naming my pirate detective

annoying: How about Conrad the Swashbuckling Crimesolver!

youngyoung4: hm. i don't know about that

Fiend: scurvy danger, private aye

youngyoung4: PERFECT

TeenWritersGroupChat (Thursday, 19/4 at 18:19)

Fiend: so i'd say today was quite productive

annoying: Oh, yes, it was very productive when you told the kids to use my vocabulary words to write about how outdated and joyless I am.

Fiend: well we got THREE wonderful stories out of it, didn't we?

Pepper: you're just in denial

Fiend: i said to write a story about how annoying he is, not a story about us being in love. because we're NOT. he's insufferable

annoying: You're no better yourself.

Anathema: Boys. Keep it together please

jwensleydale: Well I think I actually made good progress on my own story as well

youngyoung4: yeah same. scurvy danger just rescued his quartermaster from the kraken who was wanted for tax evasion

Laserman: oh that's brilliant

annoying: Well I'm glad someone was able to make meaningful use of their time.

Fiend: i think my time today was very well spent, thanks

annoying: Oh, I can think of much better things you could be doing than spending your time tormenting me.

Fiend: so can i, but tormenting you is so much more fun

Pepper: you two need to just kiss already

Fiend: never in a million years, kid.

Teen Write Club Plan (Tuesday, 1/5 at 14:55)

Aziraphale: I need a few more words for this week's list, if anyone would like to contribute.

Newt: Snog

Anathema: I don't think that's appropriate

Newt: Volunteer

Aziraphale: Oh, that's an excellent one!

Newt: In the storage closet

Anathema: Huh?

crowley: newt. shut it.

Anathema: Newt, honey, what are you talking about?

Aziraphale: Nothing. He's not talking about anything. Any more suggestions, from anyone else?

crowley: how about voyeur

Newt: IT WAS AN ACCIDENT

crowley: have you never heard of KNOCKING

Newt: Who in the world would knock before entering what they assume to be an empty closet?? I just needed printer paper!

Anathema: Newt. What's going on?

Newt: Caught them snogging in the downstairs supply closet yesterday.

crowley: we were NOT

Anathema: Explain yourself then

crowley: aziraphale had something stuck in his teeth and i was trying to help get it out

Newt: Using your tongue?

crowley: i don't tell you how to do your job

Anathema: So should I go tell Brian he owes Pepper £10?

crowley: NO don't tell them

Aziraphale: They were betting on us kissing in the supply closet?

Anathema: No, they were betting on whether you two would end up as a couple

Aziraphale: Oh. Well good thing we're not, then.

crowley: wait we're not?

Aziraphale: Oh. Er. Maybe that's not a conversation for the group chat.

crowley: ok

Newt: My life is so weird but I never do anything. Things just happen to me and I watch

crowley: so you ADMIT you were WATCHING

Newt: I WASN'T

Anathema: Boys. Enough. Now what do you have to say for yourselves?

crowley: see you thursday

Aziraphale: Why don't I get started on those mystery books?

Anathema: Fine.

TeenWritersGroupChat (Thursday, 3/5 at 19:12)

Anathema: I think today went well :) Brian, you mentioned having a bit of writer's block earlier, have you been able to make any progress?

Laserman: no, not really. i'm not sure how to fix the plot hole about how the alien would get ahold of a pair of garden shears.

Anathema: Well, that's okay. You'll have plenty more time to work on it before our next meeting!

youngyoung4: yeah, and i can help next time you come round to the quarry

Pepper: me too! we should all meet up soon

jwensleydale: Actually, I would love to as well

Anathema: That's great! This is exactly what I wanted from this club. I'm so glad to see your imaginations flourishing :)

Fiend: hey can you lot stop blowing up our phones please and thank you

Laserman: who's phones?

Pepper: *whose. you're literally in a writing club, brian

Anathema: Silent mode exists, you know, Crowley

Fiend: it IS on silent but it keeps buzzing. i'm on a date and i don't much like being interrupted every ten seconds

Pepper: wait, if YOU'RE on a date, then what do you mean by "our phones"

youngyoung4: that would be a wicked line in a horror story. "if you're in the group chat, and you're on a date, then who's the other phone???"

jwensleydale: Yes, that would actually imply that you're on a date with someone else in this chat

Pepper: wait

Fiend: nope, meant to say my phone. just mine.

Anathema: So much for not telling them.

Fiend: shut up

youngyoung4: oh my god

Pepper: YES! I KNEW IT

Laserman: shoot, now i'm out 10 quid

Pepper: you sure are! pay up, laser boy

youngyoung4: that's laserMAN to you

annoying: Gosh, I can't leave for five minutes, can I? I'm sure Crowley meant to refer to himself singly. There's no need to make a big fuss of it.

Pepper: awfully suspicious of you to say that

Anathema changed Fiend's name to Crowley and Azi

Anathema changed annoying's name to Sitting in a tree

Sitting in a tree: Have you had your fun?

Crowley and Azi: stop, change it back. now i look like one of those annoying couples who share a facebook account

Pepper: so you guys ARE a couple

Crowley and Azi: NO

Sitting in a tree: We're not? After that whole conversation we had the other day? I thought this was what you wanted.

Crowley and Azi: angel, shush. if we are a couple, then maybe i just don't want to admit it around the kids and give them that satisfaction. especially pepper

Sitting in a tree: Oh. Well, yes, then, we're certainly not a couple. What could possibly have given any of you that idea?

Pepper: "ANGEL" AWW

Crowley and Azi: shut. up.

Sitting in a tree: Anathema, could you please change our names to something more reasonable?

Anathema: Well, since you asked so nicely

Anathema changed Sitting in a tree's name to Aziraphale

Anathema changed Crowley and Azi's name to Crowley

Anathema: Happy?

Aziraphale: Yes. Thank you.

Crowley: would be better if it were lowercase but it's fine

Aziraphale: Now, if there are no further interruptions, we'd like to proceed with our date.

Pepper: yeah, everyone leave them alone and let them get back to expressing their undying love for each other

Crowley: don't think i won't get you kicked out of this club

Pepper: she'd sooner kick you out than me

Anathema: She's right

Crowley: alright, ouch. this is how you show your appreciation for your faithful volunteer?

Anathema: Yes it is. Now shoo, go have fun.

Teen Write Club Plan (Friday, 4/5 at 9:20)

crowley: update: we did

Anathema: Did what

crowley: last night in the other chat you told us to have fun. so just letting you know. we did ;)

Anathema: Happy for you

Newt: Don't think we needed to know that

crowley: never said you needed to

Aziraphale: My dear, must you share details of our personal lives?

crowley: sorry

Aziraphale: No, you're not.

crowley: you're right, i'm now

Anathema: So, while we're all here, Newt and I were thinking of trying out our idea of having a day of dramatic story readings. Maybe not this next session, but the one after, so the kids have plenty of time to prepare the stories and we have plenty of time to prepare the tech

Aziraphale: Oh, that sounds lovely!

crowley: if you want i can find out what their stories are about and help prepare some visuals and stuff

Aziraphale: That would be great too! You're very artistic, dearest.

crowley: stoppp

Anathema: Yeah Crowley, that would be awesome. Thanks!

Newt: I'm going to be extra careful with this stuff too. I know Gabriel was excited about getting the new projector

crowley: oh boy, this will go well

Anathema: I'm sure it'll be fine, honey

Newt: I hope so

TeenWritersGroupChat (Saturday, 19/5 at 9:58)

Anathema: Okay, so like we discussed on Thursday, I think we should all try to finalize our stories before the next meeting so we can do our dramatic readings! Newt and I will be testing out the tech stuff sometime next week

youngyoung4: wicked. i just need to figure out what sort of voice to give scurvy danger

Aziraphale: I'm eager to see what you kids have come up with over the past few months. I'm sure it will all be marvelous!

Crowley: yeah, it will be cool. i'm proud of some of the visuals i made too

Aziraphale: Ah, someone's finally awake.

Crowley: i got cold. thanks.

Aziraphale: Well, some of us have to get up and start our days. Not everyone sleeps until twelve, believe it or not.

Pepper: so crowley, are you the big spoon or the little spoon?

Crowley: alright, listen here, kid. i'm not any spoon. i don't cuddle. i don't know what sort of person you take me for, but i'll have you know that i'm not the type you want to mess with. i've seen more shit than you could ever dream, and i have my own confidence to keep me warm enough without any of that soppy rubbish. come back to me after you've spent some time in the real world and we'll see if you still feel any need to cuddle then.

Anathema: Aziraphale?

Aziraphale: He's the little spoon.

Crowley: fuck OFF

Pepper: i knew it

Anathema: I thought we agreed on no swearing in front of the kids

Aziraphale: He's off sulking in the other room now, but I'll tell him you said that.

Anathema: So anyway, yeah, let's get those stories ready for next time

Laserman: am i allowed to bring garden shears as a prop?

Anathema: No, but Crowley has a drawing of an alien with shears all ready for your presentation!

Laserman: oh, brilliant!

Pepper: so i guess that means i also can't step on all of the men in the room after i take over the world for added realism?

Anathema: Correct. You may not

Pepper: damn it

jwensleydale: I'm looking forward to mine. My story is about a man who leaves behind a life that doesn't fulfill him

Anathema: Oh wow, that's very deep

jwensleydale: So instead he trains a robot army to invade a spaceship.

Anathema: There it is

Aziraphale: Gosh, this will be such fun!

Anathema: It will be! So, that all sounds like a good plan. We'll test the tech setup next week, and if you don't hear back from us, that means everything went smoothly, and the next meeting is ON!

Aziraphale: Hooray!

youngyoung4: wicked!

Teen Write Club Plan (Wednesday, 23/5 at 11:22)

Anathema: So, tech test completed. Everything seems to be up and running!

Aziraphale: Well, that's a miracle.

Anathema: Oh come on, Newt KNOWS what he's doing, he just, y'know, sometimes doesn't do it right

Newt: Thanks

Anathema: You know I love you for many reasons

Newt: Are my tech skills one of them?

Anathema: So I also want to bring in some popcorn or something. I think it would add to the whole vibe

crowley: only if it costs like 30 quid for a small. that would really capture the cinema experience

Anathema: This is a free club for children. The popcorn is on us

crowley: not on me, it's not. i already bought the notebooks

Anathema: Fine, it's on me then. Just bring your drawings

crowley: will do

Aziraphale: I've seen several of them, and they're all lovely!

crowley: stop being so nice, angel, i'm gonna melt

Aziraphale: Well, that wouldn't be ideal. If you melt, you can't draw!

Newt: And please don't melt around the projector. I don't know what that would do to it

crowley: agreed. no melting for now

Anathema: I can't thank you guys enough for all of your help with this

Newt: You're welcome :)

Aziraphale: Aww, you know I'm always happy to help!

crowley: i've got nothing better to do

Anathema: I'm so excited for this. I just know it's going to go perfectly!

TeenWritersGroupChat (Thursday, 31/5 at 16:44)

Anathema: So.

Aziraphale: Yes. Well. That certainly happened.

Newt: I'm sorry guys

youngyoung4: don't be sorry, that was wicked!

Anathema: Well as "wicked" as it may have been, I'm sure Gabriel won't be too thrilled about it

Crowley: don't worry newt, i'm sure state-of-the-art projector systems spontaneously combust aaaaaall the time

jwensleydale: Actually, I've never heard of that happening

Crowley: it was sarcasm, kid

Anathema: God, we're in so much trouble

Aziraphale: Yes, this certainly won't be a good mark on our end-of-year review.

youngyoung4: worth it though

Crowley: yeah, as someone who doesn't work here, i think it was definitely worth it

Aziraphale: You only think this club was worth it because it brought the two of us together.

Crowley: well, there's that, but fire is fun too

Aziraphale: For you, maybe. You fiend.

Crowley: love youuu

Aziraphale: I love you too, even if you're a fiend.

Pepper: okay yeah, i agree, this entire club was worth it just for that moment

Laserman: so what will happen to the club now?

Anathema: Indefinite hiatus, I think. At least until Gabriel stops being mad at us

youngyoung4: hey, we can always keep writing our stories on our own time. just because we don't have a big table or a list of big old words to use doesn't mean we can't still write

Laserman: that's true. and if we do dramatic readings on our own then i CAN have my dad's garden shears as a prop!

Crowley: how heartwarming

Anathema: It really is, honestly. This club may have literally gone down in flames, but at least we got one positive outcome from it

Crowley: just one? my boyfriend and i would beg to differ

Newt: Er. Anathema, Aziraphale. The fire department just left and Gabriel wants to see the three of us in his office now

Aziraphale: Oh Lord.

Anathema: Ugh. Wish us luck, guys

Pepper: bye, i hope you don't get fired

youngyoung4: but at least if you do get fired then you can come and watch us act out our stories!

Anathema: Hey, if you do it on a weekend then I'd love to watch either way

youngyoung4: :D

Crowley: good luck, angel. i love you

Aziraphale: Thank you, "boyfriend." I love you too.