'Joy to the world, that Darcy’s queer, and Dumbledore is too! The Doctor and Jack Haaar-kness are shagging in the Taaar-dis, beneath the mistletoe, beneath the mistletoe'

Oh, God, that had me rolling around on the floor, laughing. I also really loved:
'D’you think we ought to make Adam change things back before he turns Her Majesty into a lesbian?'
“Oh, you hadn’t heard, then,”

Thank you for a hilarious story! The allusions to the other books and fandoms were a great idea.