Happy Holidays, kindigo!

[waxbean.livejournal.com]

Gift for: Kindigo

From:  pseudo_geek 

Liaison Triple with Sin

Ingredients:

1 angel

1 demon

1 nun

2 oz of evilness

400mL of misfortune

5 bottles of fine wine

2 bottles of rum

1 accident

Utensils:

1 Fell’s Bookshop basement

1 Taboo Conversation

1 Incomprehensible Conversation

1 Church

1 dozen of Questions about God, His Plan and Other Ineffable Things

1 Debate

1 WTF

1 Censor

1 Miracle

1 Death

1 Bed

Directions:

1. Put 1 angel and 1 demon in Fell's bookshop basement.

2. Add 3 bottles of fine wine.

3. Stir clockwise with Taboo Conversation[1]

4. Heat with medium fire.

5. Remove from fire after 5 hours and stir counterclockwise with an Incomprehensible Conversation.

Observation: The angel and the demon should be babbling about towers, plague, questionable justice and ridiculous systems.

(CROWLEY So there was… You know, lotsa screams and bricks falling…

AZIRAPHALE It’s those laws, you know, Newton and his… what was it called again? Something that starts with a G… Gr… Gro…

CROWLEY No, it was something like gra… gravi…

AZIRAPHALE Gravy?

CROWLEY Gravitation. When the tower got too… too… too high, it was dragged down again by… by… gravitation.)

5.5 Meanwhile, shower the nun in a church with misfortune to make a confused and depressed nun.

Observation: The nun should be screaming to the dark stormy sky, yelling about what in the world she has done and should do to get out of this situation.

6. Once thickened, add 1 confused and depressed nun.

7. Beat the whole with Questions about God, His Plan and Other Ineffable Things.

Observation: It should make a H-…Manchester of very chaotic mélange. The three should be talking all at the same time about everything and nothing.

8. Add 2 more bottles of fine wine.

Observation: The Chaos should be amplified.

9. Stir clockwise with Debate, then draw the sign of cross with WTF[2] while singing “Bohemian Rhapsody”.

10. Smash 1 accident into the mix (hard enough to mix the angel into the nun)

Note: At this stage, you should have two items in your Fell's bookshop basement: 1 demon and 1 angel/nun mix, bathed in a gentle bouillon of alcohol vapor, drunkenness and incomprehensibility. Now comes the hard part.

11. Dip the demon in evilness and insert 1/3 of the now evil demon into the angel/nun mix, just enough to produce Sin.

12. Wait for an hour, the basement should soon gain a rich fragrance of Sin.

Did you know… Sin is produced when one or more vows, taken sometime during the being’s existence or simply there since the beginning, is or are broken. In this case, the basic vow of orthodox catholic sisterhood, known as Vow of Chastity, is one of the two vows in question. The other broken vow is Thy-Shall-Not-Associate-With-Thine-Enemy, by the angel.

13. Now add 2 bottles of rum.

14. Add another 1/3 of the demon and let rest for another hour.

Note: Demon and angel must stay separate at this stage.

15. Simmer for 10 minutes on small fire.

16. Shake the whole in Drunken Stupor. Never mix angel and demon too fast; do it slowly, with vast quantities of Violence.

Tip: Keep the Violence pleasant for a creamier texture.

17. Now cover the mélange with Censor and wait till it calms down.

Observation: The mélange should be making quite a bit of noise right now. Do not panic, it should calm down eventually. The richest Sin will be produced at this stage.

18. Separate angel and nun with Miracle.

19. Remove nun with Death forty years later, when she is crisp enough.

20. Pour the rest of contents on Bed and enjoy.

Recipe © Lucifer Morningstar, his son and his friend Upstairs

P.S.: Make sure that the angel and demon cannot see you doing this.

------------------ Comment Box ------------------

Comment #1:

The Death of the Woman Who Was Once a Sister

The woman smiles faintly, deforming further her face of thousand folds. She rests herself in a wooden chair, her snow white hair sitting on her forehead like the crown of a queen. Death greets her as would a knight, and the White Queen gives him her hand, silently accepts to be taken away from this plane of existence. Her image remains in the throne till dawn, when the family would dress her like a maiden, wash her by fire and keep her in a tiny black box.

Comment #2:

What happened to the angel and the demon?

Reply to comment #2:

The Ineffable Relationship

The angel closes his book. The door rings. The demon enters, once again, without permission. He closes the door, turns the sign to CLOSED and guides the angel to the basement where the madness happened forty years ago. The angel takes out his best wines, gestures the demon to sit, and they start doing the same thing they did forty years ago, except that this time, no nun is involved. Although a mailman who has just lost his job might.

Comment #3:

First, I don’t remember being part of this. Second, don’t you have other things to do? No wonder nobody ever wins. Third, both sides should just stop messing around in this world. Last but not least, Dog looks lonely. Can it get a friend?

COMMENT #4:

WHY AM I NOT CREDITED IN THE COPYRIGHT DESPITE HAVING A ROLE IN THE MAKING? I DEMAND COMPENSATION. A PAID HOLIDAY WOULD BE NICE.

Reply to COMMENT #4:

A paid holiday to do what? Feeding ducks and petting cats?

REPLY TO REPLY:

TO CHANGE IDEAS.

Comment #5:

Was my comment invisible? Shall I post it again?

Reply to comment #5:

Actually, some peo- I mean beings prefer not to remind themselves of something that happened few years ago. I’m sure that they’ve read your message; they just pretend that they didn’t. If you want a dog, we can go get one tomorrow. As for the rest, let’s wait.

Reply to reply:

Thanks for answering, it wasn’t really important anyway. Where should we meet for the dog?

P.S.: Do we have to stay anonymous?

Reply to reply:

I’ll drive by yours tomorrow morning around 9 o’clock.

Yes, we have to stay anonymous unless someone has masochist tendencies. Post your name and you’ll surely be damned. I don’t think this will ever happen to you because of who you are, but we… I’ll shut up before my name gets written on more bad books.

---

[1] The Ineffable

[2] WTF: Known to WWII veterans and Mariners as “Whiskey Tango Foxtrot”

Comments

[waxbean.livejournal.com]

this has got to be one of the most creative gifts we've ever had at the GO Exchange. How did you even come up with this? This is fantastic!

[secret-kracken.livejournal.com]

Thanks, I was working on Chemistry at that time and Chem is almost equal to Cooking. So, after some negative comments from my beta for the first version of the fic, I started this version, got it approved, finished and sent. Glad that it turns alright ;)

[http://users.livejournal.com/_silverfox/]

LOL! Oh, this is great! Which one of them wrote down the recipe, though and why?

[secret-kracken.livejournal.com]

It's Lucifer in his Peeping Tom mode who wrote this. Just for fun. Hey, even in Hell, fun is vital to keep the mind relatively sane.

[kaberett.livejournal.com]

WONDERFUL WONDERFUL WONDERFUL.

Especially Tip: Keep the Violence pleasant for a creamier texture.

Thank you! Brilliant. Brightened up my evening.

[secret-kracken.livejournal.com]

You're welcome! It's good to know that this fic has positive effects XD

[quantum-witch.livejournal.com]

Holy crap! That was Awesomeness Incarnate!

And I bloody well want to make the recipe now... but can I substitue Nun with Self?

[secret-kracken.livejournal.com]

Sure, but I'm not sure if you'll land in Fell's Bookshop and not Hastur's Motel...

Glad that you liked it!

[hsavinien.livejournal.com]

Bloody brilliant and very amusing. I love the dry humor. Creative!

[secret-kracken.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I knew it was a bit dry. Should've prepared a side dish. Glad that you liked it despite the dryness!

[hsavinien.livejournal.com]

Ah, but that's the best kind. Sogginess isn't good.

wheeee!

[kindigo.livejournal.com]

*claps with incoherent glee* Thank you!

I can't even list all my favorite parts! Probably Death asking for paid vacation. Or "make sign of cross with WTF."

Wow. This really exceeded any expectation I could've hoped to have....does that make sense? You'll have to excuse any incoherency as a result of one too many Liaison Triple with Sins.

After all, indulgence is the name of the season! Cheers!

(Permission to icon, Secret Santa?)

Re: wheeee!

[secret-kracken.livejournal.com]

Ouf, I was not sure if this will suit your taste, but looks like it does. Merry Christmas! *hug*

Haha, I knew I should've mentioned the side effects.

Cheers!

(Of course you can icon it!)

[littlewolfstar.livejournal.com]

THIS. IS. FANTASTIC. 8DDD

19. Remove nun with Death forty years later, when she is crisp enough.

20. Pour the rest of contents on Bed and enjoy.
SO MUCH LOVE~ XD when she is crisp... hahaha

[secret-kracken.livejournal.com]

Well, I had to insert Death somewhere in the fic, so... XD And #20 is for Crowley/Aziraphale-ness.

[the-leechwife.livejournal.com]

Take one the_leechwife and add a hilarious fic. This should produce an undignified snorting sound and reduce the_leechwife to a lumpy syrup.

[secret-kracken.livejournal.com]

Oh no! Side effect alert! *Add water*

[sticktothestory.livejournal.com]

I find it disturbing that the most implausible thing about this fic is the idea that Crowley would let a dog into his car.

[waxbean.livejournal.com]

were we reading the same fic? did I miss something in this recipe? (goes back to reread)

:)
W

[waxbean.livejournal.com]

duh-

thanks for making me go back and reread!

[sticktothestory.livejournal.com]

I don't even want to know where you were expecting to find the dog. ;-)

[secret-kracken.livejournal.com]

Knowing Crowley, he won't get Adam a dog. Crowley's definition of "dog" is rather vague, and could be translated into "something living and annoying that you keep". He'll probably just pick up some weird creature and tell Adam that it's the same as a dog. Like a dogfish that lives in a sandbox because of some miracling mistake. Or a fishdog. Or a giant lezard that acts like a dog from some radioactive wasteland. Then he'll seal it in a box and post it express to Adam's house using the excuse that it's too big and exotic to be carried in a car.

[kaoticwords.livejournal.com]

I want that for dinner on Christmas *LOL*
Brilliantly original~

[secret-kracken.livejournal.com]

Are you sure that your parents will allow you to eat that for Christmas? XD Glad that you like it!

[daughtersofisis.livejournal.com]

*busts out laughing*

*continues in her busting*

This is so amazing, Secret Authartist (it's a word). As everyone has said already, so original, so funny, and so weirdly plausible. And DEATH is bloody adorable, as always.

My favourite bit?

Never mix angel and demon too fast; do it slowly, with vast quantities of Violence.
Tip: Keep the Violence pleasant for a creamier texture.

I second the icon request. This is so fabuous. Many, many points to you!

[secret-kracken.livejournal.com]

Woah, I didn't know that the word Authartist exists. Cool. *Add to words list*. Actually, I didn't draw this illustration, my beta did it after an overdose of Liaison Triple with Sin.

Is this part popular because of the not-so-subtle innuendo? XD

Yes, go ahead and icon it as you please! Texts are written to be passed around, don't they?

Thanks a lot for the love!

P.S.: What are the points for? Can I exchange them for cookies?

[imagines.livejournal.com]

This is amazing. XD

[secret-kracken.livejournal.com]

Thanks. Your icon is pretty amazing too XD *inspired by car on fire* I have the fire seed for my next fic!

[mediasavant.livejournal.com]

This is so creative, so wonderful, so detailed, and GUH. I love it all over.

And why can I see Hermione Granger trying to puzzle it out in some book hidden in the Hogwarts library? ;)

[eiranea.livejournal.com]

This is fantastic, absolutely inspired.

[sirius-luva.livejournal.com]

I absolutely LOVED this! As someone said, I wouldn't mind substituting the Nun with Self! And I don't celebrate Christmas, being a Hindu, but I wouldn't mind having a Liason Triple with Sin on my birthday! (After all, I'll be sixteen this year, and of age!)I love how you have to stir in Violence for a Creamier Texture when mixing the angel and demon. (At this point I'll probably cultivate the habit of taking photos of my cooking while still in the mixing stage, lol)

"Never mix angel and demon too fast; do it slowly, with vast quantities of Violence.

Tip: Keep the Violence pleasant for a creamier texture."

Loved it! In fact this whole thing is wonderful! And the illustrations are so cute!

~ Sivaroobini

[kaizoku.livejournal.com]

Here from jelliclekat's rec. This is f*ing fantastic! Mmm, delicious sin. Yay Nun! If only the ingredients weren't so expensive, we could have this more often... *sad face*