Oh, this is wonderful, Secret Author! You knocked it out of the park. I love everything about this, from the HP-in-GO-narration-style beginning, to EVERY LINE OF THE AGNES-SPEAK, to all of Albus' perfectly logical and utterly wrong assumptions about Agnes' motivations, to Agnes' Icelandic...matronymic?, to the hilarious crossed wands euphemism and Albus' ridiculous excuse, to adorable eleven-year-old Anathema speaking in Agnes-ese, to the AMAZING AND PERFECT ADAM TWIST. I never considered that when I submitted this prompt, and IT IS UTTERLY PERFECT AND TRULY THE ONLY WAY THIS COULD END. And awwww, of course he won't split up the Them even for Hogwarts, and EEEEEE THAT ENDING. (Pssssst, Aziraphale, they're definitely not talking about rabbits and hats...)
A few favorite lines:
The politician's letter turned out to include nothing of truly vital importance, but nevertheless required a lengthy reply which took up almost an hour. HAHAHA OF COURSE. And Lucius Malfoy's "I'm totally not a racist I just want to *civilise* the *poor* Muggle-borns" letter is hilarious too. :)
"Oh yes, definitely non-magical parents and an address in a perfectly boring Muggle neighbourhood," Minerva reported. "And really, what wizard in his right mind would name a child Anathema? Arachne or Artemisia, perhaps, but surely not Anathema." I LOLED AT THIS RATHER MORE THAN IS PROBABLY HEALTHY.
"I'm not quite sure, darling," she said. "This appears to be a boarding school and what if ye were to be bullied again? Ye wouldst not have the chance to get awaye from the other children easily." I love that this is Anathema's mum's concern, not that it's a school of magic. Awwwww.
"I'm not going and that's that," he informed the shocked Them. "I am staying right here and going to Tadfield Secondary like everybody else from our old school. If you want to go to this stupid Hogwarts and get totally worthless degrees, then go and do it without me." Oh Wensleydale, most people do not spot this issue until they're older and clicking around TVTropes, but then you were born with a mental age of 47. <3
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branchandroot
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Date: 2018-12-07 02:33 pm (UTC)A few favorite lines:
The politician's letter turned out to include nothing of truly vital importance, but nevertheless required a lengthy reply which took up almost an hour. HAHAHA OF COURSE. And Lucius Malfoy's "I'm totally not a racist I just want to *civilise* the *poor* Muggle-borns" letter is hilarious too. :)
"Oh yes, definitely non-magical parents and an address in a perfectly boring Muggle neighbourhood," Minerva reported. "And really, what wizard in his right mind would name a child Anathema? Arachne or Artemisia, perhaps, but surely not Anathema." I LOLED AT THIS RATHER MORE THAN IS PROBABLY HEALTHY.
"I'm not quite sure, darling," she said. "This appears to be a boarding school and what if ye were to be bullied again? Ye wouldst not have the chance to get awaye from the other children easily." I love that this is Anathema's mum's concern, not that it's a school of magic. Awwwww.
"I'm not going and that's that," he informed the shocked Them. "I am staying right here and going to Tadfield Secondary like everybody else from our old school. If you want to go to this stupid Hogwarts and get totally worthless degrees, then go and do it without me." Oh Wensleydale, most people do not spot this issue until they're older and clicking around TVTropes, but then you were born with a mental age of 47. <3
Thank you so much!