Happy Holidays, blueeyedtigress!, Part VI

[waxbean.livejournal.com]

***

Pepper was a couple of steps behind Adam so when he stopped abruptly she walked into him.

“What the - What’s wrong Adam?”

She looked around him to see Aziraphale, sitting at the kitchen table. He looked like he was expecting them, he had tea all laid out.

“Aziraphale?” asked Adam. “What are you doing here?”

Aziraphale lifted his head up, Pepper caught sight of his face and gasped. There was something dreadful there, something cracked and broken about his expression.

“What’s wrong?” Adam stepped forward hurriedly. “Is it Crowley? Is it -”

Aziraphale laughed hollowly, “Yes I suppose it is Crowley. Would you sit down? This - this will take some explaining.”

They sat down. Pepper felt rather worried. They’d always wondered if Aziraphale and Crowley were more than just occasional friends who sometimes saved the world together. Well, okay, not they - she had always wondered. Aziraphale looked so cut up - it must be true.

“Tea?” asked Aziraphale. “You take it with three sugars and far too much milk,” he pushed one to Adam. “And you my dear, take it with lemon and honey, am I right?”

Pepper smiled, trying to reassure him - she wasn’t sure what of exactly - “Yes, Mr. Fell, that’s right.”

“I remembered,” he murmured.

“What’s wrong?” Adam repeated.

“What would you do?” Aziraphale asked distractedly. “If something happened to her?”

“What?”

“If something happened to her? If someone threatened her? You’d do everything you could to stop it, wouldn’t you?”

“Aziraphale,” said Adam gently, “Has something happened to Crowley?”

“Wouldn’t you?”

“Yes, of course, he would,” Pepper said reaching out for Aziraphale’s clasped hands. “And I would for him. When you love someone that’s what you do.”

As soon as she touched them, Aziraphale violently jerked his hands away. “Don’t do that,” he said harshly and then continued in a rush. “Yes, yes. That’s what I thought. That’s why I thought you’d understand.”

“Understand what?” said Adam. Pepper could tell that he was getting impatient but was trying to make an effort. “Aziraphale, you’re not making any sense.”

The angel shook his head a couple of times and looked at them. “You’re not drinking your tea. Is there something wrong with it? I haven’t mixed you up with the other two, have I?”

“No, nothing like that, but -”

“Then hurry now, no point in waiting until it get’s cold.”

Adam shrugged and then nodded at Pepper. She agreed silently, it was probably best to humour Aziraphale. She wondered if demons could die and then hoped not. If Crowley had died because Adam refused to help… she didn’t think Adam would forgive himself.

They sipped their teas quickly. Too quickly. Pepper burnt her tongue and coughed. “It’s great,” she said. “Just the way I like it. You always do remember.”

“Yeah,” said Adam. “It’s cracking good tea. But you’re beginning to worry me. Are you gonna tell me what’s wrong, or what?”

Aziraphale looked miserable. “It was nothing personal, you know,” he said wretchedly. “I didn’t have a choice.” He sounded close to tears.

“Aziraphale?”

The angel picked up his cup and drained it. “For what it’s worth,” he whispered. “I’m sorry.”

There was a peal of unpleasant laughter from one of the cupboards.

Adam ran over to it and pulled a strange little man from it. “Adam Young,” said the man. “I do not believe we have had the pleasure. I am known as Ulthar. Would you like to know what dear Aziraphale put in your tea?”

Pepper glanced over at the Angel, who was stared ahead, his eyes blank. “What?” she asked, her heart pounding.

“A few drops of good old tap water.”

“WHAT?” Aziraphale got to his feet looking both relieved and horrified. It was a terrible expression. “You mean you tricked me?”

“It would appear so,” said Ulthar.

“So - so - I didn’t -”

“Ah, but you thought you did, Aziraphale. And that makes all the difference.”

Aziraphale made a tortured, strangled sound and dropped to his knees, his face wet.

Ulthar reached into the cupboard and pulled out an axe, which he handed to the sorry figure in the centre of the kitchen. “Take this,” he said. “Crowley will know what to do with it. And as per our bargain he need not worry about me again. Good luck, Aziraphale, I enjoyed doing business with you.”

Aziraphale nodded and got to his feet shakily. He tottered unsteadily to the door.

“Oh and Aziraphale?” Ulthar had the nastiest smile Pepper had ever seen. “The way you’re going - sng, sng, sng - lets just say, there will always be room for you, down below.”

Aziraphale let out something that sounded like a sob and then turned and ran.

“Masterfully done,” said a voice from the corridor. A dazzlingly beautiful man stepped into the kitchen. He had angel written all over him, but there was something wrong with his smile. It was as beautiful as the rest of him but in its own way it was just as nasty as Ulthar’s.

“Why thank you,” said Ulthar. “And how did you fair with Crowley?”

“It went off without a hitch. In fact I believe he may have put up less of a fight than Aziraphale did.”

Adam got to his feet. “I don’t know who you are,” he said quietly, dangerously. “But if someone doesn’t tell me what is going on right this second I am going to get very, very angry.”

***

Crowley ran into Aziraphale outside the engineering building. They could hear Dog bashing himself against the walls trying to get out. Hooray for civil engineers, thought Crowley. When they build a fireproof, earthquake-proof building they do get the job done.

He felt almost optimistic until he saw Aziraphale’s face. “They got you to do something, didn’t they?” he asked.

Aziraphale rubbed a hand over his face, maybe wiping away tears, maybe something else. “It doesn’t matter,” he said. “Not anymore. I’m here. You’re here. And if we live through this, they’ll leave us alone.”

“We probably won’t though - live through this. You know that right?”

Aziraphale nodded. “I know.” He laughed. “Here we are at the end of the world again, or at least the end of our lives and I still can’t. Crowley -” he hesitated. “If - if we do - don’t - you, you do know that -”

Crowley took the hand that wasn’t currently clutching the incredibly large axe. “Hey,” he said, squeezing it, “I know. You know too, yeah?”

Aziraphale stared at him blankly for a second. Crowley dropped his sword and kissed him on the mouth, firmly. It was only for a few moments, they didn’t have time for that sort of thing, but Crowley thought it could say it better than words would. He broke off and shook Aziraphale’s shoulder. “You do know?”

Then Aziraphale smiled. A real smile, not the tired, weary ones that Crowley had been getting lately. It had been an age since he had seen Aziraphale smile like that. He’d go to hell and back, to heaven and back, anywhere, if he could be sure of seeing that smile again.

“I do now.” said Aziraphale, his voice sounded stronger, more confident than it had been in days. “This is for you.”

Crowley took the axe. He hadn’t used one before but he knew what it was. “Well, hello,” he said softly. “And where did this little beauty come from?”

“The same place you got that, I reckon,” said Aziraphale pointing to the sword. “Is that for me?” He picked up the sword without waiting for an answer and turned it around. “Maybe I’ll actually get to use it this time.”

Crowley laughed. “I’d forgotten,” he said. “You still up for a bit of divine retribution and all that jazz.”

“No,” said Aziraphale, “But I feel better knowing you’ll have my back.”

Dog howled from inside. Somewhere around Physics, thought Crowley. They didn’t have long now. Soon Dog would find a weak spot and get out.

“We’d better-” he began at the same time Aziraphale said, “We should -”

“I’ll take the library, said Aziraphale. “It’s only fitting.”

“That leaves me with engineering” said Crowley. “Right. I’ll see you later. Wings out, do you think?”

Aziraphale nodded. Seams ripped. Coats and shirts tore and they were in their own shapes again.

Aziraphale leaned forward and kissed Crowley’s mouth softly. “See you on the other side.”

***

The explanation didn‘t take very long. Pepper felt numb afterwards. “I can’t believe he poisoned us.”

“He didn’t,” said Adam tersely. “So no harm done. But it’s nothing I wouldn’t have done. Not if I thought they would hurt you.” His voice was angry.

“It was wrong,” said Pepper. “Whatever reason, I mean, ok, I know he thought they’d hurt Crowley but -”

“Hurt him? Do you have any idea what they do to you in hell?”

“Of course not,” she replied hotly. “Do you?”

“You forget who I am,” his voice was different. Higher pitched. The Voice that could make things happen. “And it ain’t fair. It ain’t fair that people should go around meddling with other people’s feelings. You shouldn’t have to make the sort of choices that destroy who you are. And both sides like to play each other. Where’s the justice in that? Nothing’s ever straightforward in this world, no one ever gives it to you straight. It’s always this is the great plan or the ineffable plan and they don care who gets hurt. It ain’t fair.”

Thunder rumbled outside. Pepper felt scared, her heart was beating hard enough to break out of her chest and she felt nauseous. Chills were marching up and down her spine the way they had last done seven years ago. She looked at the two others in the room. They were watching Adam with keen, greedy expressions.

She walked up to Adam and took his clenched fists in her hands. “Don’t,” she said, the calm in her voice masking her panic. “Don’t you see that’s what all of this is about? They want you to lose it. You were better than that seven years ago, and you’re better than that now.”

Adam blinked. His hands unclenched. He held her hands and when he looked into her eyes he was her Adam again. “Where would I be without you, Pep?” he asked.

She laughed with relief. “Where would the world be without me, you mean?” she asked shakily.

Adam grinned at her and then glared at them. “Get out of here. If I see you again I’ll End you.”

“This is very touching,” said Ulthar, looking sour. “But it doesn’t matter. Those two will be dead soon. And even if we didn’t win the war, we shall have this battle, at least.”

He vanished. Terinael smiled. “You might make it in time,” he said. “If you run.”

Adam kissed Pepper, briefly but with feeling and ran out of the room.

Pepper stared at Terinael, who shrugged, winked at her and disappeared. She screamed at the insanity of it all and then ran to the library as fast as she could.

***

For all the noise Dog had been making beforehand it was now deathly quiet. Crowley had never realised how spooky a University could be at night. He’d never really been inside a University at night but that wasn’t the point. He’d missed out on millennia of potential. Too late now.

The two brief kisses with Aziraphale had been sweet and full of promise. Not nearly enough for seven thousand years of missed chances. Too late there, as well.

Crowley felt suddenly furious. This was stupid. He wasn’t going to die. He’d faced worst than a bloody hellhound. He’d been through far too much to pack it all in right now just when it was about to get really good. Not now that he actually had his angel.

He’d had enough of cowering in the dark. If he was going to die, it wasn’t going to be creeping about waiting for this creature to strike. It would be on his terms. He grit his teeth and ran the axe over the radiators pipes. They clanged loudly as they fell to the floor.

“Where are you, you great beast?” he shouted. “I’m right here. What are you waiting for? Or are you afraid, you sad little puppy? Is that it? Are you afraid? Well you should be, because your Uncle Crowley is about to go medieval on your arse!”

There was a growling noise to his left.

“Heh,” said Crowley, feeling he might have made a bit of a mistake. “I suppose we can’t talk about this over tea and a dog biscuit?”

Dog snarled.

“Thought not,” said Crowley. “Oh well, worth a shot.”

He hefted his axe and charged.

***

Aziraphale stared at the books. He hoped he wouldn’t have to fight in the library itself. It would be a shame to have to ruin them all.

He heard Crowley shouting and almost bit his lip off. “The fool,” he whispered through bloodied lips. “What does he think he’s doing?”

Then he heard some sort of battle cry and a loud yelp. He ran towards the noise, heart thudding in his chest.

“You idiot, Crowley,” he panted. “If you die on me I’ll kill you.”

He skidded round a corner. Dog had Crowley’s left leg in its teeth, there was blood on Crowley’s face. Crowley still had the axe gripped in both hands, white knuckled, he was hacking at the leg that had him pinned down.

Aziraphale could see that the paw was injured, but it didn’t seem to be having much effect. Dog jerked Crowley roughly. There was a loud snap as Crowley’s leg broke.

It was Crowley’s scream that brought Aziraphale back to life. He bolted as fast as he could and slashed the sword at Dog’s neck aiming for the kill. He was going too fast to be able to control it so he missed and cut a ragged gash under the hellhound’s ear.

Dog whined loudly and then swiped at Aziraphale with his good paw, batting him to the ground, knocking the sword out of his hands. Before he could get up it bounded over and bit down on his wing.

Aziraphale had never broken a wing before. It snapped back, almost splintering. For a second he felt nothing and then as Dog started to swing him around, he did. It was worse than anything he’d ever felt. Blood and feathers dripped down onto his face.

Dog flung him against a wall and he crashed awkwardly. He was vaguely aware of his ankle slamming into the floor, that was another break he thought, but it was nothing compared to how his wing felt.

He looked up, weakly. Dog advanced slowly, holding its injured paw awkwardly. It’s eyes were bloodshot and mad.

Crowley lunged in front of him, leaning on the Sword. He waved the axe wildly. “Yipeekayay motherfucker!”

He landed a blow with the flat of the Axe on Dog’s nose. It yelped, deafeningly loud and turned and ran, looking for all the world like an oversized puppy.

Crowley laughed weakly and dropped to the ground next to Aziraphale. “The one way to get rid of a dog. Whack it on the nose. Never fails. So when you said it had been a long time since you wielded a sword, you really meant it, huh?”

Aziraphale snorted. “Yipeekayay motherfucker?”

“Die Hard,” said Crowley. “Film. Bruce Willis. Always wanted to say that. You ok?”

Aziraphale sat up and winced. “Not particularly. How’s your leg?”

“Broken,” Crowley coughed, covering his mouth with his hands. His fingers came away blood flecked. “Fuck. I must have punctured a lung. It’ll come back, this is just temporary. Can you walk?”

“I doubt it,” said Aziraphale. “My ankle’s broken. Can’t fly either, Crowley. I think I’m done for.”

Crowley reached up and stroked Aziraphale wing. “Ow! Don’t do that!”

Crowley looked contrite. “Sorry, I didn’t mean -”

“It’s fine.” Aziraphale took Crowley’s hand in both of his. “Look Crowley, you can get out of here. You can still fly -”

Crowley looked away. “I’m not leaving you,” he said shortly.

“Crowley!”

“No!”

He dropped the axe and cupped Aziraphale’s face with his free hand. “Listen, you stupid bugger. I’m not leaving you. Not ever. Endof.”

There was a snuffling slobbering noise. Dog had returned and it looked angrier than ever. It snarled, baring its teeth.

This is stupid, Aziraphale wanted to say. There’s no point sacrificing yourself for me, Crowley. It’s stupid and pointless and it isn’t fair. But he found he couldn’t say anything. He just held on to Crowley and hoped that he knew how much he loved him.

Out of the shadows came a clear ringing voice. “Bad Dog! Stop it! Right now!”

Dog stopped, its teeth inches away from Aziraphale’s face. It growled puzzled.

Adam stepped into view. The air around him crackled with power. His eyes were ablaze.

“Stop it!” he repeated. Aziraphale found himself trembling. This was a voice to be obeyed. He had no doubt that voice could make rivers change their course and turn mountains back into mole hills.

“Bad Dog! What have I told you about attacking people? You’ve been very, very bad!”

Dog whined and hung its head. It held up its injured paw and whimpered.

“It’s no more than you deserve,” said Adam. “Bad, naughty dog!”

He walked up to the huge bulking creature and put a hand on its muzzle. “Go back to what you were,” he whispered. “You are Dog!”

It shrunk. The air clapped. And all that was left was a small ordinary mongrel.

“That’s it?” said Crowley outraged. “We almost died and you could have done that at any point all along?”

“No,” said Adam, he bent down next to them. “I only just realised that I could.”

The pain in Aziraphale’s wing suddenly vanished. It unbent and straighten of its own accord. He tested his ankle. That was fine as well. Crowley got to his feet and helped him up.

“Everything’s back to normal?” asked Aziraphale. “All those people?”

“Good as new,” said Adam. “Even Hastur.”

Crowley made a face.

Adam looked into Aziraphale’s eyes. “I can make you forget if you want.”

It was one of the hardest things Aziraphale had ever had to do, looking into those bright blue blazing eyes. “No,” he said. “I’ll keep it. As my penance. I’m sorry. It doesn’t make up for it but I’m sorry.” He looked away.

“I know,” said Adam. “And you’re right, it isn’t okay. But it is alright. I forgive you.”

“What are you talking about?” asked Crowley.

“Nothing,” said Adam.

“Hmph. But you know what? It doesn’t matter. Because we’re alive.” He laughed and grabbed Aziraphale’s arms. “What do you think of that Angel? The deux ex machina to end all deux ex machinas.” He swung Aziraphale around. “We’re alive and I have you and I don’t intend to let you go.”

He kissed Aziraphale. It was rather clumsy and a little awkward because of the angle and their teeth clashed together at first but Aziraphale thought that it was the best kiss in the world.

At some point they managed to wrap their arms around each other properly. Aziraphale hadn’t had much experience but he held on and went for it. And in that moment, nothing else did matter.

He had Crowley, and that was all that was important. It didn’t matter who was watching or what tomorrow would bring.

Everything had been worth that one moment. He loved Crowley and Crowley loved him and that was all that would ever matter.

Part VII, the Conclusion