Happy Holidays, RiWriting!

[goe_mod]

HAPPY HOLIDAYS RiWriting!!

Thank you to Luna for the beta.

Rating: G 

 

PAIRING/PLOT BUNNY/RATING CHOICE ONE: Gen or Aziraphale/Crowley. One or both of Aziraphale and Crowley get a job as a historical interpreter. Their reason for getting this job is up to you – maybe it's a mission from Heaven/Hell, maybe there's a bet involved, or maybe one or both were just bored. Considering they both lived through the events they're portraying, they might be very good at it...or they might be utterly incompetent.

PAIRING/PLOT BUNNY/RATING CHOICE TWO: Gen (although Aziraphale/Crowley is welcome as a background ship). Adam's college roommate has been noticing that something is a bit off about Adam. He never seems to get in trouble for typical college shenanigans; suspicion slides right off him. No one even questions the pet dog he keeps in the dorm even though pets are not permitted. When a nervous man in sunglasses and sharp suits shows up and talks to Adam like Adam is his boss, the roommate decides there's only one explanation: Adam must be involved in organized crime. (Adam, Dog, and Crowley are in their canon roles; those roles are just misunderstood by the roommate, because “mafia” makes more sense than “the antichrist, his hellhound, and a demon.” Other GO characters welcome to appear). 

Help! I think my roommate is in the Mafia!

Scott Roberts was just getting used to the new housing he’d been assigned by his college. His first semester had been rough, but after deciding he needed to change his living arrangements, things were starting to get better. Everything seemed going well except for a tiny situation – a trifle really – one of his roommates, Adam. It wasn’t as if he really dwelled on it; they weren’t in the same program, and between jobs and studies they’d barely talked. Adam usually went home on weekends, so there really hadn’t yet been a chance to get to know each other. But Adam was proving to be quite unusual. 

He owned a dog – or at least Scott was pretty sure he owned one. He'd seen him around with one, but had never heard the dog barking, let alone being called by name, which apparently was just Dog. But it was prohibited to have pets in college housing; one of his friends couldn’t rent there because she had a cat. But apparently Adam was free to keep a mongrel in his bedroom. In all reality, since the dog didn't make noise or smell or create havoc, Scott really shouldn’t care. But still, it wasn’t right that he had that privilege. Maybe his family had some kind of pull with the landlady, who thus was completely overlooking it. 

A few weeks later, the roommates were eating dinner together. Their third roommate, Christina, had asked Adam about the recent generous donation the department of Animal Welfare had received. With it, his program had just gotten a brand new data lab! As nonchalant as ever, Adam had added, “Well, it’s good that people are finally starting to understand that there needs to be more focus toward animal rights. I tell you, every new semester I learn something more, and there is so much that can be done. Just this week, I found out it was only in 2007 that England amended the Welfare of Farmed Animals Regulations. All those years before, we’d just used animals as possessions.” 

It was certainly lucky that his program had gotten more funding just as Adam had started getting excited about his studies. It was the first time Scott had heard Adam talk at length. Adam was passionate about his major and seemed nice enough but … there still seemed to just be something off. Speaking of off… 

Scott’s ‘History of the World’ teacher was a plump middle-aged man, a stereotypical scholar – glasses, tweed, tartan, and a briefcase, and he couldn’t look more bored about the subjects he taught. Sometimes he could get really specific about one artifact – knowing all about it, from its creator to its provenance, its unique function, and almost exact value. Other times he would get hyped about one particular event, only to be corrected by some students who were doing their theses on the subject. Instead of retracting his statement, he would deflect by bringing up another topic. In general, though, Mr. Fell knew his stuff. Even though he was sometimes absent-minded, he was good for a chat after class and had helped Scott with a lot of assignments. He recommended good references that fortunately could all be found in the university library.  

At the end of one particularly hasty lecture, Mr. Fell was being waited on outside the classroom by a skinny, dark-haired dude that wore sunglasses even when he was inside; perhaps some kind of light sensitivity or just a total douche bag. He didn’t look that menacingly toward Mr. Fell, but he scowled at all the students as if wanting them to scram this very minute. Once most of the students had left the room, the dude sauntered into the classroom as if he owned it. He said to the professor, “Apparently they’re getting it, and they’re going to have it transported here; but it’s going to take a little more time.” The professor visibly looked crushed, and the dude in sunglasses said, “Hey now, don’t look like that. I bet he’ll be able to do something. He told me he would try...” He then turned around to glare at Scott, who hadn’t yet left. He got out of there in case they started to plot his murder. 

Having an unusual roommate and an iffy professor would seemed totally unrelated if not for what happened one month later. Scott spotted Adam outside the dean’s office talking with the dude in dark glasses. He wasn’t as menacing as he’d seemed before, insulting or growling at people like those who came to see Mr. Fell at lunch time for some help with their assignments. No, he was fidgeting with his hands and rocking back and forth as they talked. He looked like a nervous wreck. It was surreal watching this guy act so obsequious toward his roommate, but eventually he actually bowed to Adam and ran off. 

Scott just waved at Adam and tried to leave as well, but Adam caught up with him. He didn’t offer an explanation and Scott didn’t ask. Instead, they talked about some stuff at the house, like whose turn it was to dust the living room, and Adam offered to buy some groceries for dinner that weekend. They parted ways and Scott tried to disengage the wheels of conspiracy that had started turning in his head. Their meeting couldn’t mean anything. Why would there be a connection between his roommate and Mr. Fell’s odd friend? Coincidences do happen in this world. 

One night he stayed up late, and predictably, Adam was nowhere to be seen. Just after curfew he came in as Scott was downstairs by the fridge getting an energy drink and being reprimanded by Anna, the landlady: “No music or sounds past midnight!” Adam said hello to both of them and Anna just nodded to him, and went back to her room. Meanwhile, Scott had his head in the refrigerator looking for the energy drinks. Maybe he was more tired than he thought. “I could have sworn that we had more drinks, but we must’ve run out. Want some coffee?“ 

Adam yawned and said, “No thanks. I think I’m going to go to bed now; you should too, with that exam you have tomorrow. I already know you’ll ace it with all the studying you’ve done, but it’s best to be rested.” 

Scott was really tired. Adam was right, he did have an exam tomorrow but he felt comfortable about the subject, so tonight he should just sleep. He waved goodnight to Adam and entered his room. He stopped himself with a sudden thought. It was strange that the landlady hadn’t said anything to Adam about breaking curfew. His family definitely must have some sort of arrangement with her. While mulling that over, he dozed off to sleep. 

No further coincidences happened until the following Monday. Scott was doing research in the library when a group of people marched in wearing what looked like hazmat or clean-room suits. They were carrying a large, climate-controlled crystal box, and behind them Scott swore he could see Adam giving directions. That couldn't be right – why would Adam be in charge of these people? As soon as Adam turned to exit the library, Professor Fell arrived with the dude in the sunglasses, Crowley. Scott heard the professor saying, “Thank you Adam, I know the apple usually doesn’t fall far from the tree, but in your case you really are different from your father. I’m so happy we took a chance, and now we'll reap the rewards of our work.“ He then practically ran towards the people with the crystal box. 

Crowley sheepishly smiled and bowed, saying a little too loudly, “Pleasssse excuse him; he tendsss to forget every social cue when he’s thissss excited. You should have seen him in Italy back in its heyday – couldn't shut up and was always trying to ingratiate himself with all the big names.” 

Adam laughed, and said what looked like, “Don’t worry, I understand –  but he isn’t right about my father. I am like him, at least the father I chose.” It was a surprising thing to say, as Scott hadn’t known Adam was adopted. 

Scott felt as if he was starting to lose his mind. The only possible solution when one put all the clues together was Mafia – like 1970s movies about organized crime, where there was a mob boss and nobody could touch him, his son, or his family. Adam had never done anything that could be considered evil, but too many things had happened that centered around him, and to his benefit. Scott started checking things off in his mind. The mysterious guy with the glasses. The money from an anonymous donor that benefitted his program. The dog. The curfew. Even the groceries – the fruits and vegetables Adam brought home never seemed to go bad. 

What little things he knew about Adam´s childhood also seemed very strange. He lived in a perfect town and spent his summers hanging out with friends. The train only stopped once a day, and the people who lived there worked in town or in the nearby countryside, and they were all inexplicably happy. They definitely had to be hiding something. 

Adam’s father was also very dear to him. He spoke often about his childhood adventures and how his dad had tried to stop him, and how he’d actually been relieved when Adam had told him he wanted to go to college. Scott wasn’t used to people having that kind of respect for their fathers, and Crowley had mentioned Italy and Professor Fell knew a lot about where to buy historic artifacts. Maybe it was part of the Mafia code, with nicknames and pseudonyms for mob boss doings. 

The crystal box turned out to hold a book, and Crowley had secluded himself in the library with it for an entire day. The next day, Professor Fell didn’t show up for class. He was substituted by another teacher, Mr. Rabin, who in comparison was a very competent history teacher. Mr. Fell and Crowley were never seen on campus again, and Adam came home with a brand new book from the library about different types of books around the world in the IX century. It had nothing to do with his studies but when Scott asked about it, Adam said, “Well, it’s about the history of the world and the power of free access to information. It’s really interesting. I can lend it to you. It has an index with a lot of ancient books as references.” 

“I’ll take you up on that offer; knock on my door when you finish it.” 

It was definitely an interesting book, and his roommate, though probably knee-deep in Mafia life, was definitely a good person. 

----------

The truth about Adam, Professor Fell and Mr. Crowley happened to be a bit more charming and a lot less dangerous than what Scott had pulled together. 

One afternoon, Aziraphale had woken Crowley from his slumber in the bookshop with a scream of delight. A book he’d been tracking would soon be on London soil and available for purchase to the highest bidder, but preference would be given to a college or educational institution that would share its ancient contents with other academics. Aziraphale had growled when he’d found out about this restriction. Crowley, of course, laughed at him. Eventually they concluded that maybe if they posed as teachers at a university, they could get favoured treatment for the purchase. Aziraphale boldly proposed to do it at their godson’s college, to Crowley’s dismay. It probably wasn’t the best idea, but for his angel he was willing to try. “But you’re gonna be the one doing the teaching. I’ll be the one doing the asking.” Aziraphale had acquiesced, and they embarked on this very bold endeavour. 

Upon arriving at the school, a position in the history department was miraculously open. Aziraphale had thought it would be far too easy, but he soon found out that living through a historic event and teaching about it were very, very different. He came up with the idea of using only the books available in the university library for his lectures, so that the students always had the opportunity of looking up info there. 

Crowley had met with Adam and initially told him, “Yes, we’re here trying to do some learning and teaching; nothing to worry about. We’re not meddling.” But after several further encounters with the affable Son of Satan, Crowley’s conscience got the best of him, and he’d asked Adam if they could buy the book in the name of the university but take it with them back to the South Downs. Adam was a little reluctant to remove free access to information from the people. So Crowley promised, at a very late night dinner with just the two of them, to leave an exact copy of the book in the library. Adam agreed to that condition. Crowley would transfer its information to a modern hardcover book and then they could take the original book away with them. 

The auction result was naturally in Aziraphale’s favour, and the book was delivered safely in a climate-controlled container to the university and into his eager hands. Crowley convinced Aziraphale to lend him the book one night, and a new hard copy was registered to the library. Aziraphale wasn’t quite as satisfied now that the contents of the book were public knowledge, but he was entirely delighted with the quality of the binding and with the discovery of some typos that Crowley had corrected in the new version. Once in possession of the book, they had no need to complete the semester and were off before November ended. 

The new history professor was happy to oblige the confused students who’d struggled through the start of the semester with a very odd professor. All were delighted to have a new teacher that was more versed in historic cultures than Mr. Fell, who tended to go into long detailed ramblings about artifacts and books. 

One student in particular was relieved that no mysterious dude in sunglasses waited for Mr. Rabin at the door after each class, and that his new professor seemed to have absolutely no connection to his roommate.  

 

Notes:

–Sorry!! I have no idea how college works where you live in residence, so I decided housing would be better.
–Also, get it?  Animal Behaviour for Adam is amazing because his namesake was the first one to have dominion over the animals and now this one can understand them. I just screamed when I found the connection.
–Happy Holidays RiWriting!!  I hope you like this and that I made poor Aziraphale teaching history a little enjoyable. I loved your prompts!!!!

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Secret Author! I squealed with glee! It was everything I could hope for! I have to go to work, but when I get home, I will give you a proper review! (From Ri).

[hsavinien]

Poor Scott... I hope he has an easier rest of his year.

[(Anonymous)]

Secret Author – I am SO SORRY it has taken me so long to get you a proper review. I had some pretty major life stuff happening this week, and I wanted to make sure I gave this the attention it deserves. Please forgive the lateness.


This was fantastic and it was exactly what I was looking for. I've wanted this fic ever since reading how Shadwell thought Crowley was involved in organized crime. It is the sort of sitcomy misunderstanding delight that I enjoy, and I looked and looked but could not find anyone playing with it.


I love the little character details you worked throughout. Adam's major and interest in animal welfare stemmed really well from his concerns about the environment and his love of his little dog. Crowley trying to be cool but being an anxious mess (I, also, am an anxious mess so I appreciate this very much). Aziraphale excitedly running after a rare book in the library.


The flow of this fic worked really well to sort of build up Scott's suspicion. Adam getting allowances, the program funding, and then that sketchy conversation between Crowley and Aziraphale. Each interaction built on the last one really well.


This line had me in stitches: No, he was fidgeting with his hands and rocking back and forth as they talked. He looked like a nervous wreck. It was surreal watching this guy act so obsequious toward his roommate, but eventually he actually bowed to Adam and ran off. I could completely see this in my mind. And then Adam catching up and talking about mindless roommate stuff like this was all normal. *chef's kiss*


One thing that I really like in both the book and the tv show is the relationship between Adam and his adopted father. Mr. Young just strikes me as a guy trying to be a good dad to a mischievous little boy. He doesn't stop things like Adam's games in the woods, but he gets involved if Adam does something dangerous. This line - Adam’s father was also very dear to him. He spoke often about his childhood adventures and how his dad had tried to stop him, and how he’d actually been relieved when Adam had told him he wanted to go to college. Scott wasn’t used to people having that kind of respect for their fathers - was a really nice touch. It definitely warmed my heart and I like imagining that they continue to have a good relationship.


The “true story” of what happened – with Aziraphale and Crowley's convoluted scheme – yes, this. It is the sort of ridiculous thing they would come up with. That it works is just the icing on the cake.


Aziraphale had thought it would be far too easy, but he soon found out that living through a historic event and teaching about it were very, very different - I can see Aziraphale teaching a lecture on a city in Ancient Greece, but spending the entire class period discussing a particularly enjoyable meal he'd had one evening, then telling himself he did a good job teaching the students about culture. And then he gets his book and he just UP AND QUITS in the middle of the semester. Of course he does. I love how selfish Aziraphale is.


You mentioned student housing and different country systems. I'm in the US, but I went to a college in a historical town with a lot of building restrictions, so much of my college housing was very similar to what was described here – old houses converted into student housing with a number of housemates. (My understanding is that my college was not the norm with housing). That this reminded me so much of my experience just made it that much more enjoyable. I actually imagined much of this fic against the backdrop of my college – from the lecture halls to the library.


Thank you for such a delightful present.

[(Anonymous)]

Oops! This is the long review from Ri.

[maniacalmole]

I love Professor Fell XD
“I am like him, at least the father I chose.” This makes me wonder what stories Mr. Young has told Adam about his OWN college days. He probably doesn’t talk about his childhood or past much—doesn’t seem like the nostalgic sort—except for on very special occasions, but I bet he secretly has some fun stories :D
I’m glad they found a way to keep the information with the university :)
This was fun! And Animal Behavior IS the perfect area for Adam!