Happy Holidays, Lilith!
Dec. 22nd, 2022 05:11 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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go_exchangeTitle: In the Dreams of Angels
Recipient: Lilith
Rating: PG
Summary: Good is ever vigilant, but this time Aziraphale has a mission to do in his sleep.
Unfortunately that only makes it harder.
A/N: I know Leopold III isn’t exactly a member of the clergy, but he is a saint and I hope that counts.
One of the biggest problems with beings that live in eternal bliss and perfection was that they have no sense of timing whatsoever. No matter how often Aziraphale reminded Heaven that the best, or rather only, good time to contact him was when he was alone in his cell, his assignments still always arrived when he was surrounded by fellow monks who might mistake … well, recognise them for what they were. Then he always had to make up some divine revelation. And if one had too many of those, one might be declared a saint or prophet and that rarely ended well. All too often one got discorporated very painfully as a martyr or someone decided one’s teachings weren’t in line with orthodoxy and one was discorporated very painfully as a heretic. Either way one ended up in Heaven just when one was most needed on Earth.
This time Gabriel had really outdone himself, however, appearing just when they had started on the third chant of the night, already about a minute behind schedule. Aziraphale had of course faltered and fallen silent while Gabriel delivered his message. He would much rather have screamed that he was really the least well-placed angel to perform dream visitations and why was Heaven bothering with such minor items as lost veils anyway. After all, his duties required him to stay awake in the presence of other monks all night in order to wake his sleeping brothers on time for morning prayers. As an angel that didn’t need sleep, it was quite easy for him and volunteering for the duty had seemed a good idea at the time, since it saved some poor human from damaging his health. Now he’d have to find a way to get into the dreamscape when Leopold III, Margrave of Austria was also asleep, and while the sun did sink earlier in Austria than here in France, the time difference wasn’t nearly large enough to deliver a message and still arrive on time for his nightly duties. Just how could he do this when any sign of falling asleep would lead to a fellow monk shaking him awake immediately? Why couldn’t Gabriel just have gone and delivered the vision himself right now?
“Brother? Art thee alright, Brother?” the monk next to him asked in obvious concern. After all Aziraphale was known to never nod off.
“What? Oh, oh yes, perfectly fine,” Aziraphale replied hastily. “I was just overcome with a bit of faintness just now. … Perhaps I should see the brother herbologist in the morning after mass. Surely there must be some goodly herb to prevent this reoccurring.”
Several other monks glared at him reprimandingly for speaking so many unnecessary words, but Aziraphale barely noticed, since he’d just had the saving idea. He would indeed go and see the brother herbologist and use a minor miracle to convince that kindly old monk that Brother Aziraphale was suffering from some minor ailment that made a day and night spent resting in his cell most advisable. With an entire night of sleep, surely it would be no problem at all to catch the margrave mid-dream and deliver the silly message about his wife’s lost veil. Really, as if the wife of a margrave oughtn’t to have enough money to replace one measly old veil carried off by the wind! It really didn’t seem worth the effort, but as a good monk, Aziraphale of course knew that it was not for him to question, but to obey. Besides, the dream visitation wouldn’t take all night and he could get some secret reading in afterwards.
Once he had lain down and it started to get dark however, it soon turned out that despite his clever idea, the task still wasn’t quite as easy as it appeared. Good was ever vigilant and Aziraphale’s corporation didn’t require sleep any more than his pure angelic essence did. Also evil never slept, and it was Aziraphale’s duty to protect the world from it … or at least from the small part of it that was the demon Crowley. Though, he wasn’t quite sure where that foul fiend was right now. Most certainly awake and plotting evil, however.
In any case Aziraphale had never slept before. He knew very well how to feign sleep, if some human looked in on one at night. But how did one actually fall asleep and enter the realm of dreams? He tried closing his eyes and waiting, but it was quite boring and nothing happened. He tried droning a particularly long winded prayer to himself, since that was the most likely thing to make monks fall asleep during morning mass. Still nothing happened. He tried pretending to be asleep and focusing on particularly regular breathing. He tried counting sheep and since that didn’t work, but made him think of clouds, he spent about half an hour counting various angels of his acquaintance fluttering over a nice little sheep-shaped cloud.
Eventually he realised that he was running out of time to deliver his visitation, because after all, it was quite possible that Margrave Leopold suffered from sleeplessness or disturbed rest and didn’t spend all that much time actually dreaming. Besides this was a legitimate mission from Heaven, so it wasn’t cheating. Aziraphale miracled himself asleep.
A moment later he found himself surrounded by an oddly hazy landscape of gently undulating hills. The angel wasn’t sure what he had been expecting, but this wasn’t it. And why was he standing all of a sudden? He’d just been lying down! More importantly: Where was the way into Leopold III Margrave of Austria’s dream? There didn’t seem to be any paths here at all. Then again, they might well be hidden in the haze. Maybe if he started walking straight ahead, he’d find one … or at least meet someone he could ask for directions.
Aziraphale took a step and was suddenly standing in a forest lit by brightly shining mushrooms that seemed to be growing on the bark of every tree. A man and a woman came walking towards him swinging a small child between them.
“Excuse me?” the angel said when they reached him. “Do you know where I can find Margrave Leopold of Austria?”
“Who that?” the child asked in very unclearly pronounced Danish.
The adults didn’t react or even appear to see Aziraphale at all. Apparently this was the child’s dream then and they were much too young to give reliable directions, even if they had happened to know where to find Leopold.
Aziraphale decided to take another step and found himself on a flat grassy plain with a herd of horses that had strange spiralling horns where their ears ought to have been pelting towards him at top speed. He should have been afraid for his corporation, but he was too surprised.
“What in creation are these?” was all he could think of to say as they dashed past him on both sides, jumped over him or in one case actually passed right through him.
“Antelopes!” the young woman riding the last of them shouted back over her shoulder in a rare Mongolian accent.
Since Aziraphale didn’t think it likely that he’d be able to catch up with this dreamer long enough to ask for directions, he took another step and found himself in a sunny clearing with birds singing, insects humming all around and a large family of bunnies nibbling on juicy grass and clover.
He looked around, but couldn’t see a human being anywhere. Still somebody had to be dreaming this and surely they couldn’t be far away.
“Excuse me?” the angel shouted therefore. “Is there anyone here who can tell me how to find my way?”
The biggest bunny sat up on his hind-legs, twitched his nose and whiskers in Aziraphale’s direction and then said: “Just follow your heart and it’ll lead you to wherever you want to be.”
So Aziraphale closed his eyes and listened inside himself to see whether he currently had an actually beating heart and if it would tell him something. He discovered two things. The first was that he wasn’t even in his corporation and therefore had no organs of any kind at all. The second was that something seemed to be tugging him gently in a particular direction anyway.
“Thank you,” he said to the bunny and started to follow the tugging.
It led him to another clearing, though this one was quiet without any animals around. Instead it had a well, a wood-stack and a modest, but well-kept little hut in the middle. Clearly the home of a humble hermit. Perhaps it wasn’t quite so weird of Heaven to help the margrave find his wife’s lost veil, if his secretly held deepest wish was that he could have been a simple hermit humbly spending his life in prayer to the Lord.
Since Leopold was nowhere to be seen outside, Aziraphale went straight to the door and knocked.
“Who’s there?” came a somehow familiar voice.
That was strange. Aziraphale had never met Leopold III before, so the voice ought to be unknown to him. Oh well, perhaps it was just a resemblance to that of someone he had known at some point in the past. After all he had met many humans over the millennia he’d been down here. It would probably have been stranger, if this new one didn’t resemble any he’d heard before. However it hadn’t been speaking German either. Surely a margrave of Austria’s natural choice ought to be German with an Austrian accent. This had been a Lanque d’Oc with a hint of Italian, if Aziraphale wasn’t mistaken. Oh well, he knew nothing about the margrave’s personal history. Maybe he’d been brought up in the south. Or, more likely he was using the language of the region this dream was set in.
“An angel of the Lord!” Aziraphale announced, since this was an official message from Heaven.
“Oh, Aziraphale, it’s you,” came the voice in return. “But why so formal? Do come in. You know you are always welcome.”
Leopold knew his name? No, that couldn’t be right. Surely nobody in Heaven was crazy enough to appear to a human in order to announce the impending appearance of an angel that would reveal the location of a stupid lost veil. He had been invited in, though. So he entered.
The inside of the hut looked a lot less simple and modest than the outside. It was still small, but equipped with all the luxuries of the age, including an extra-large bed with what looked to be linen sheets. And on those sheets sat Crowley, a half-eaten piece of honey-cake in his hand.
“You foul fiend!” Aziraphale shrieked, as was proper at the sight of a demon. “What have you done with Leopold?”
“Leopold? What Leopold?” Crowley asked. “I haven’t seen any Leopold in … cen… yea… well, in quite some time, in any case. To be honest, I can’t quite remember when the last time would have been. One sees a lot of humans in passing and it’s hard to keep track of all their names and dates. But what are you so worked up about? Do come sit beside me and tell me all about it while I give you a nice relaxing wing massage.”
Crowley offering a wing massage? For a moment Aziraphale felt like he had walked into a strange alternate universe. Then he remembered that he was in a dream. A dream which clearly had to be his own, and out of some deep wish for harmony and kindness between all beings, his subconscious had created a nice version of the most evil being of his personal acquaintance.
He hesitated for another moment. It wasn’t wise to expose one’s back to a demon, but then his own dream surely couldn’t hurt him and a wing massage did sound awfully nice. And perhaps dream-Crowley could help him find his way through the dreamscape that was his home. So he went and sat next to Crowley a little gingerly.
“Oh dear, you really are tense,” Crowley exclaimed and started by gently rubbing his shoulders before he moved on to the wings. Just as Aziraphale liked it best! “And your poor wings are all messed up. Have you been flying in a storm since I last straightened them for you?”
“No, I …” he hadn’t flown at all in quite a while, actually, but then he also hadn’t had anyone to straighten his wings for him in centuries. Oh, it felt so very good! A pity it was just a dream and never could be anything more than that. “I have to deliver a dream visitation to Margrave Leopold III of Austria. Only I can’t seem to find his dream. I keep stumbling into those of strangers and some of them are a bit wild. I do like this one, though. It does feel good.”
“A dream visita… Oh!” made Crowley pulling back in some sudden surprise. “You are …”
“Yes, I’m supposed to show him the way to a bush in which hangs a veil that his wife lost years ago. I have no idea why. Surely she must have a new one by now and the old one will be all dirty and torn up. Why would she or Leopold even want it back? But do continue. Your fingers feel so very good between my feathers.”
“Your feathers feel even better between my fingers,” Crowley assured him, returning to the task obligingly. “You have such beautiful wings. The most beautiful I have ever seen.”
“And you have the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen,” Aziraphale declared, safe in the knowledge that this was after all just a dream. “I could never understand what’s supposed to be so demonic about them.”
Crowley shrugged.
“They are unnatural to the humans,” he explained. “And almost impossible to hide from them. It’s quite a hassle. I wish they’d invent some way to cover them.”
“Still beautiful,” Aziraphale declared. “I hope you’ll never hide them from me. Oh, oh yes, that feels good. Just that spot there, a little above where your fingers are now. Could you rub that a little more?”
“Of course,” Crowley said, and obliged.
“What are you doing in this hut, though?” Aziraphale asked a little later. “I thought I would have expected to find you in your very own castle. A big one with a tower and stone walls.”
“Nah,” said Crowley. “I tried the knight’s life for a bit, but it isn’t for me. Too many horses involved. And you wouldn’t believe the things they do to each other or even innocent peasants in and after battle. It’d turn your stomach to see it. It certainly did mine. So I decided they’re doing enough evil without my help anyway, and found this little getaway instead. It’s comfortably out of the way enough that I can miracle up whatever I like without any human likely to see and get the satanic panic. I suppose I’ll tire of the quiet after a few decades, but it hasn’t happened yet and once it does… I think I’ll try on being a merchant. The city life probably suits me better than all that warfare. Most of it isn’t even actual war. They just fall on the neighbouring peasants and carry off their food, wives, and daughters.”
Aziraphale shuddered.
“Being a hermit does sound lovely,” he said to take their minds back to more pleasant things. “Maybe I’ll try it next. I’m in a large monastery right now and it is almost impossible to get away from people if there is any miracling to be done. I had to pretend to be sick just to be able to perform the dream visitation. I’m a waker, you see, and have to stay up all night… Oh, and I do need to go and deliver that message now, lovely as all of this is. I won’t get another chance to sleep, you see.”
“Oh, but I haven’t even finished straightening your wings!” Crowley protested. “And you haven’t tried the honey cake and…”
“I have to go, Crowley. And this is just a dream, you know. When I wake up my wings will be as messy as they were before despite all your efforts. And as an angel I really mustn’t indulge in frivolous pleasures like this.”
“I will miss you awfully, you know,” Crowley said. “But if you must go… Will you give me one boon first? A kiss goodbye? A proper one, I mean.”
Well, why not. One kiss couldn’t take up a lot of time, so what harm could it do? Aziraphale turned around, drawing his wings out of Crowley’s gentle grasp and put his lips gently onto the demon’s mouth. Crowley slung his arms around him, pulled him close, and then Aziraphale felt the slight tickle of a forked tongue against his upper lip. He opened his mouth and… Oh, what a strange and wonderful new feeling! It was even better than the wing massage and he could have continued enjoying it forever, but suddenly everything went white for a moment and then there was only blackness.
With a yelp, Aziraphale opened his eyes and found that he was back on the straw sack in his cell, wide awake in the late morning. He could still feel a tingling feeling in his mouth where Crowley’s exploring tongue had been and it filled him with joy, though at the same time there was the terrible realisation that he had failed in his duty. Margrave Leopold had to be wide awake by now, and tonight Aziraphale would have to return to sitting up and chanting with the other wakers. Maybe he could come up with some excuse to travel to Austria? Dream visitations had to be easier, if one was closer to the dreamer or had at least seen them once. Right?
He spent the rest of the day trying to come up with a plan. Then just as Aziraphale was about to join his fellow monks for dinner Gabriel suddenly appeared in his room.
“Now really, Aziraphale,” the archangel chided without even taking the time to exchange greetings. “When I say dream visitation, I do mean dream visitation!”
“I’m sorry,” Aziraphale tried to explain. “But you see…”
“I admit your shepherd did the trick and Leopold found Klosterneuburg just where we wanted him to, but that was not a dream visitation. It was an actual appearance and some people in the margrave’s household are already attributing it to Mary herself. That’s quite a bit more obvious than we wanted it to be. Though, of course, I assume you meant to be taken for a real shepherd, which I suppose would have been alright, if it had been agreed with me in advance.”
A shepherd? What shepherd? And what was Klosterneuburg?
“Look Gabriel, I really, really am awfully sorry that I caused a mess,” though he didn’t really understand how. “I honestly tried to perform the dream visitation, but I just couldn’t figure out how to find Leopold in the dreamscape and then the night ended and he woke up. I did the best I could, but I’ve never slept before and it was all so much more complicated than I’d realised it would be and… Wait, just how did they mistake a shepherd for Mother Mary? Why would she appear as a man?”
“Uh, I don’t know,” Gabriel said with a sigh. “Just one of those things humans do, I suppose. I’ll try to explain to the Metatron that you meant no harm and couldn’t have foreseen such a reaction. But next time, do clear any such deviations from your orders with me in advance, you hear!”
“Yes, Gabriel. Of course. It won’t happen again.” Hopefully.
Recipient: Lilith
Rating: PG
Summary: Good is ever vigilant, but this time Aziraphale has a mission to do in his sleep.
Unfortunately that only makes it harder.
A/N: I know Leopold III isn’t exactly a member of the clergy, but he is a saint and I hope that counts.
One of the biggest problems with beings that live in eternal bliss and perfection was that they have no sense of timing whatsoever. No matter how often Aziraphale reminded Heaven that the best, or rather only, good time to contact him was when he was alone in his cell, his assignments still always arrived when he was surrounded by fellow monks who might mistake … well, recognise them for what they were. Then he always had to make up some divine revelation. And if one had too many of those, one might be declared a saint or prophet and that rarely ended well. All too often one got discorporated very painfully as a martyr or someone decided one’s teachings weren’t in line with orthodoxy and one was discorporated very painfully as a heretic. Either way one ended up in Heaven just when one was most needed on Earth.
This time Gabriel had really outdone himself, however, appearing just when they had started on the third chant of the night, already about a minute behind schedule. Aziraphale had of course faltered and fallen silent while Gabriel delivered his message. He would much rather have screamed that he was really the least well-placed angel to perform dream visitations and why was Heaven bothering with such minor items as lost veils anyway. After all, his duties required him to stay awake in the presence of other monks all night in order to wake his sleeping brothers on time for morning prayers. As an angel that didn’t need sleep, it was quite easy for him and volunteering for the duty had seemed a good idea at the time, since it saved some poor human from damaging his health. Now he’d have to find a way to get into the dreamscape when Leopold III, Margrave of Austria was also asleep, and while the sun did sink earlier in Austria than here in France, the time difference wasn’t nearly large enough to deliver a message and still arrive on time for his nightly duties. Just how could he do this when any sign of falling asleep would lead to a fellow monk shaking him awake immediately? Why couldn’t Gabriel just have gone and delivered the vision himself right now?
“Brother? Art thee alright, Brother?” the monk next to him asked in obvious concern. After all Aziraphale was known to never nod off.
“What? Oh, oh yes, perfectly fine,” Aziraphale replied hastily. “I was just overcome with a bit of faintness just now. … Perhaps I should see the brother herbologist in the morning after mass. Surely there must be some goodly herb to prevent this reoccurring.”
Several other monks glared at him reprimandingly for speaking so many unnecessary words, but Aziraphale barely noticed, since he’d just had the saving idea. He would indeed go and see the brother herbologist and use a minor miracle to convince that kindly old monk that Brother Aziraphale was suffering from some minor ailment that made a day and night spent resting in his cell most advisable. With an entire night of sleep, surely it would be no problem at all to catch the margrave mid-dream and deliver the silly message about his wife’s lost veil. Really, as if the wife of a margrave oughtn’t to have enough money to replace one measly old veil carried off by the wind! It really didn’t seem worth the effort, but as a good monk, Aziraphale of course knew that it was not for him to question, but to obey. Besides, the dream visitation wouldn’t take all night and he could get some secret reading in afterwards.
Once he had lain down and it started to get dark however, it soon turned out that despite his clever idea, the task still wasn’t quite as easy as it appeared. Good was ever vigilant and Aziraphale’s corporation didn’t require sleep any more than his pure angelic essence did. Also evil never slept, and it was Aziraphale’s duty to protect the world from it … or at least from the small part of it that was the demon Crowley. Though, he wasn’t quite sure where that foul fiend was right now. Most certainly awake and plotting evil, however.
In any case Aziraphale had never slept before. He knew very well how to feign sleep, if some human looked in on one at night. But how did one actually fall asleep and enter the realm of dreams? He tried closing his eyes and waiting, but it was quite boring and nothing happened. He tried droning a particularly long winded prayer to himself, since that was the most likely thing to make monks fall asleep during morning mass. Still nothing happened. He tried pretending to be asleep and focusing on particularly regular breathing. He tried counting sheep and since that didn’t work, but made him think of clouds, he spent about half an hour counting various angels of his acquaintance fluttering over a nice little sheep-shaped cloud.
Eventually he realised that he was running out of time to deliver his visitation, because after all, it was quite possible that Margrave Leopold suffered from sleeplessness or disturbed rest and didn’t spend all that much time actually dreaming. Besides this was a legitimate mission from Heaven, so it wasn’t cheating. Aziraphale miracled himself asleep.
A moment later he found himself surrounded by an oddly hazy landscape of gently undulating hills. The angel wasn’t sure what he had been expecting, but this wasn’t it. And why was he standing all of a sudden? He’d just been lying down! More importantly: Where was the way into Leopold III Margrave of Austria’s dream? There didn’t seem to be any paths here at all. Then again, they might well be hidden in the haze. Maybe if he started walking straight ahead, he’d find one … or at least meet someone he could ask for directions.
Aziraphale took a step and was suddenly standing in a forest lit by brightly shining mushrooms that seemed to be growing on the bark of every tree. A man and a woman came walking towards him swinging a small child between them.
“Excuse me?” the angel said when they reached him. “Do you know where I can find Margrave Leopold of Austria?”
“Who that?” the child asked in very unclearly pronounced Danish.
The adults didn’t react or even appear to see Aziraphale at all. Apparently this was the child’s dream then and they were much too young to give reliable directions, even if they had happened to know where to find Leopold.
Aziraphale decided to take another step and found himself on a flat grassy plain with a herd of horses that had strange spiralling horns where their ears ought to have been pelting towards him at top speed. He should have been afraid for his corporation, but he was too surprised.
“What in creation are these?” was all he could think of to say as they dashed past him on both sides, jumped over him or in one case actually passed right through him.
“Antelopes!” the young woman riding the last of them shouted back over her shoulder in a rare Mongolian accent.
Since Aziraphale didn’t think it likely that he’d be able to catch up with this dreamer long enough to ask for directions, he took another step and found himself in a sunny clearing with birds singing, insects humming all around and a large family of bunnies nibbling on juicy grass and clover.
He looked around, but couldn’t see a human being anywhere. Still somebody had to be dreaming this and surely they couldn’t be far away.
“Excuse me?” the angel shouted therefore. “Is there anyone here who can tell me how to find my way?”
The biggest bunny sat up on his hind-legs, twitched his nose and whiskers in Aziraphale’s direction and then said: “Just follow your heart and it’ll lead you to wherever you want to be.”
So Aziraphale closed his eyes and listened inside himself to see whether he currently had an actually beating heart and if it would tell him something. He discovered two things. The first was that he wasn’t even in his corporation and therefore had no organs of any kind at all. The second was that something seemed to be tugging him gently in a particular direction anyway.
“Thank you,” he said to the bunny and started to follow the tugging.
It led him to another clearing, though this one was quiet without any animals around. Instead it had a well, a wood-stack and a modest, but well-kept little hut in the middle. Clearly the home of a humble hermit. Perhaps it wasn’t quite so weird of Heaven to help the margrave find his wife’s lost veil, if his secretly held deepest wish was that he could have been a simple hermit humbly spending his life in prayer to the Lord.
Since Leopold was nowhere to be seen outside, Aziraphale went straight to the door and knocked.
“Who’s there?” came a somehow familiar voice.
That was strange. Aziraphale had never met Leopold III before, so the voice ought to be unknown to him. Oh well, perhaps it was just a resemblance to that of someone he had known at some point in the past. After all he had met many humans over the millennia he’d been down here. It would probably have been stranger, if this new one didn’t resemble any he’d heard before. However it hadn’t been speaking German either. Surely a margrave of Austria’s natural choice ought to be German with an Austrian accent. This had been a Lanque d’Oc with a hint of Italian, if Aziraphale wasn’t mistaken. Oh well, he knew nothing about the margrave’s personal history. Maybe he’d been brought up in the south. Or, more likely he was using the language of the region this dream was set in.
“An angel of the Lord!” Aziraphale announced, since this was an official message from Heaven.
“Oh, Aziraphale, it’s you,” came the voice in return. “But why so formal? Do come in. You know you are always welcome.”
Leopold knew his name? No, that couldn’t be right. Surely nobody in Heaven was crazy enough to appear to a human in order to announce the impending appearance of an angel that would reveal the location of a stupid lost veil. He had been invited in, though. So he entered.
The inside of the hut looked a lot less simple and modest than the outside. It was still small, but equipped with all the luxuries of the age, including an extra-large bed with what looked to be linen sheets. And on those sheets sat Crowley, a half-eaten piece of honey-cake in his hand.
“You foul fiend!” Aziraphale shrieked, as was proper at the sight of a demon. “What have you done with Leopold?”
“Leopold? What Leopold?” Crowley asked. “I haven’t seen any Leopold in … cen… yea… well, in quite some time, in any case. To be honest, I can’t quite remember when the last time would have been. One sees a lot of humans in passing and it’s hard to keep track of all their names and dates. But what are you so worked up about? Do come sit beside me and tell me all about it while I give you a nice relaxing wing massage.”
Crowley offering a wing massage? For a moment Aziraphale felt like he had walked into a strange alternate universe. Then he remembered that he was in a dream. A dream which clearly had to be his own, and out of some deep wish for harmony and kindness between all beings, his subconscious had created a nice version of the most evil being of his personal acquaintance.
He hesitated for another moment. It wasn’t wise to expose one’s back to a demon, but then his own dream surely couldn’t hurt him and a wing massage did sound awfully nice. And perhaps dream-Crowley could help him find his way through the dreamscape that was his home. So he went and sat next to Crowley a little gingerly.
“Oh dear, you really are tense,” Crowley exclaimed and started by gently rubbing his shoulders before he moved on to the wings. Just as Aziraphale liked it best! “And your poor wings are all messed up. Have you been flying in a storm since I last straightened them for you?”
“No, I …” he hadn’t flown at all in quite a while, actually, but then he also hadn’t had anyone to straighten his wings for him in centuries. Oh, it felt so very good! A pity it was just a dream and never could be anything more than that. “I have to deliver a dream visitation to Margrave Leopold III of Austria. Only I can’t seem to find his dream. I keep stumbling into those of strangers and some of them are a bit wild. I do like this one, though. It does feel good.”
“A dream visita… Oh!” made Crowley pulling back in some sudden surprise. “You are …”
“Yes, I’m supposed to show him the way to a bush in which hangs a veil that his wife lost years ago. I have no idea why. Surely she must have a new one by now and the old one will be all dirty and torn up. Why would she or Leopold even want it back? But do continue. Your fingers feel so very good between my feathers.”
“Your feathers feel even better between my fingers,” Crowley assured him, returning to the task obligingly. “You have such beautiful wings. The most beautiful I have ever seen.”
“And you have the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen,” Aziraphale declared, safe in the knowledge that this was after all just a dream. “I could never understand what’s supposed to be so demonic about them.”
Crowley shrugged.
“They are unnatural to the humans,” he explained. “And almost impossible to hide from them. It’s quite a hassle. I wish they’d invent some way to cover them.”
“Still beautiful,” Aziraphale declared. “I hope you’ll never hide them from me. Oh, oh yes, that feels good. Just that spot there, a little above where your fingers are now. Could you rub that a little more?”
“Of course,” Crowley said, and obliged.
“What are you doing in this hut, though?” Aziraphale asked a little later. “I thought I would have expected to find you in your very own castle. A big one with a tower and stone walls.”
“Nah,” said Crowley. “I tried the knight’s life for a bit, but it isn’t for me. Too many horses involved. And you wouldn’t believe the things they do to each other or even innocent peasants in and after battle. It’d turn your stomach to see it. It certainly did mine. So I decided they’re doing enough evil without my help anyway, and found this little getaway instead. It’s comfortably out of the way enough that I can miracle up whatever I like without any human likely to see and get the satanic panic. I suppose I’ll tire of the quiet after a few decades, but it hasn’t happened yet and once it does… I think I’ll try on being a merchant. The city life probably suits me better than all that warfare. Most of it isn’t even actual war. They just fall on the neighbouring peasants and carry off their food, wives, and daughters.”
Aziraphale shuddered.
“Being a hermit does sound lovely,” he said to take their minds back to more pleasant things. “Maybe I’ll try it next. I’m in a large monastery right now and it is almost impossible to get away from people if there is any miracling to be done. I had to pretend to be sick just to be able to perform the dream visitation. I’m a waker, you see, and have to stay up all night… Oh, and I do need to go and deliver that message now, lovely as all of this is. I won’t get another chance to sleep, you see.”
“Oh, but I haven’t even finished straightening your wings!” Crowley protested. “And you haven’t tried the honey cake and…”
“I have to go, Crowley. And this is just a dream, you know. When I wake up my wings will be as messy as they were before despite all your efforts. And as an angel I really mustn’t indulge in frivolous pleasures like this.”
“I will miss you awfully, you know,” Crowley said. “But if you must go… Will you give me one boon first? A kiss goodbye? A proper one, I mean.”
Well, why not. One kiss couldn’t take up a lot of time, so what harm could it do? Aziraphale turned around, drawing his wings out of Crowley’s gentle grasp and put his lips gently onto the demon’s mouth. Crowley slung his arms around him, pulled him close, and then Aziraphale felt the slight tickle of a forked tongue against his upper lip. He opened his mouth and… Oh, what a strange and wonderful new feeling! It was even better than the wing massage and he could have continued enjoying it forever, but suddenly everything went white for a moment and then there was only blackness.
With a yelp, Aziraphale opened his eyes and found that he was back on the straw sack in his cell, wide awake in the late morning. He could still feel a tingling feeling in his mouth where Crowley’s exploring tongue had been and it filled him with joy, though at the same time there was the terrible realisation that he had failed in his duty. Margrave Leopold had to be wide awake by now, and tonight Aziraphale would have to return to sitting up and chanting with the other wakers. Maybe he could come up with some excuse to travel to Austria? Dream visitations had to be easier, if one was closer to the dreamer or had at least seen them once. Right?
He spent the rest of the day trying to come up with a plan. Then just as Aziraphale was about to join his fellow monks for dinner Gabriel suddenly appeared in his room.
“Now really, Aziraphale,” the archangel chided without even taking the time to exchange greetings. “When I say dream visitation, I do mean dream visitation!”
“I’m sorry,” Aziraphale tried to explain. “But you see…”
“I admit your shepherd did the trick and Leopold found Klosterneuburg just where we wanted him to, but that was not a dream visitation. It was an actual appearance and some people in the margrave’s household are already attributing it to Mary herself. That’s quite a bit more obvious than we wanted it to be. Though, of course, I assume you meant to be taken for a real shepherd, which I suppose would have been alright, if it had been agreed with me in advance.”
A shepherd? What shepherd? And what was Klosterneuburg?
“Look Gabriel, I really, really am awfully sorry that I caused a mess,” though he didn’t really understand how. “I honestly tried to perform the dream visitation, but I just couldn’t figure out how to find Leopold in the dreamscape and then the night ended and he woke up. I did the best I could, but I’ve never slept before and it was all so much more complicated than I’d realised it would be and… Wait, just how did they mistake a shepherd for Mother Mary? Why would she appear as a man?”
“Uh, I don’t know,” Gabriel said with a sigh. “Just one of those things humans do, I suppose. I’ll try to explain to the Metatron that you meant no harm and couldn’t have foreseen such a reaction. But next time, do clear any such deviations from your orders with me in advance, you hear!”
“Yes, Gabriel. Of course. It won’t happen again.” Hopefully.
Lovely!
Date: 2022-12-22 03:25 pm (UTC)Thank you!
Date: 2022-12-22 07:29 pm (UTC)It was so sweet that I could not help smiling on several occasions.
Oh, but for them to have a hidden love nest somewhere, a tiny house filled with Love, it gives me life.
I loved many many things, but for some reason, I found the lady on the antelope super badass. She seems to have a good time!
Has Crowley, in your version of the story, somehow helped Aziraphale with his veil mission? Since he delayed him in his task (but with tenderness so he's forgiven!)
Lilith
Re: Thank you!
Date: 2022-12-22 07:59 pm (UTC)When Aziraphale suddenly disappeared from the dream, Crowley knew he'd woken up without fulfilling his mission. Since Aziraphale also had told him, that his job would prevent him repeating the attempt, he felt guilty and sent the shepherd. That's why Aziraphale knew nothing about that.
(no subject)
Date: 2023-01-06 03:50 am (UTC)Also, Aziraphale, ethereal and immortal being, trying to fall asleep, is too relatable on nights when I just can’t quite fall asleep, myself XD
Oh my god. I would give anything for Aziraphale to randomly show up in one of my dreams and ask me what the heck is going on there. ESPECIALLY if it was the BUNNY DREAM. The ‘follow your heart’ line—I imagined it in a really deep voice for some reason so it’s especially surreal, but still cute, and I love it.
They both think the other is a dream hohohoooo it’s so good
This is so cute! And the dreams are so creative, I love that he travels the world with them. And it taught me a bit of history, too :D
(no subject)
Date: 2023-01-07 06:50 pm (UTC)Well, Crowley knows good is ever vigilant and Aziraphale knows Crowley is too evil to be this nice. (The request stipulated pre-Arrangement.)
Crowley the experienced dreamer would have known how to navigate into a specific person's or region's dreams, but Aziraphale was stumbling around at random.
(no subject)
Date: 2023-01-08 05:50 pm (UTC)