Happy Holidays, ngk_is_cool!
Dec. 25th, 2024 05:09 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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go_exchangeI hope you enjoy this story and find it interesting. To me it was very helpful and cathartic to write. Wishing you the best of times and a prosperous new year with great new projects and dreams to grow with.
Title: We all need a Greasy Johnson
Rating: General
Featuring: Greasy Johnson, the Them, OC.
Thanks to HolRose who assisted me with the beta and made sense out of many descriptions.
WEDNESDAY, A REGULAR DAY IN THE OFFICE.
“I’m not saying they shouldn’t hire mentally disabled people, what I’m trying to say is that they shouldn’t hire them as managers. This man has been making decisions and putting us under pressure for about five months, but he doesn’t even understand what our department does!”
“Listen, Dany, I don’t like it any more than you do, but what you just said about mentally disabled people has nothing to do with this and is pretty offensive. As HR, I… for now I can’t do anything more than listen to you. But I promise you, I’m workin’ on it.”
Missy would have loved to make things right that instant. If she was the one in charge she would have stopped this; she would have never let it go this far.
“Missy, he literally has us attending two-hour meetings every morning. Micromanagement only works if you actually have something to say besides, ‘If not, you’re fired.’ This is clearly intimidation!”
Missy sighed deeply as her coworker shut the door behind her. It was true; Dany was the twelfth person complaining about the manager's manners this week, and it was barely Wednesday morning.
She herself was personally aggravated by the man. He hadn’t even learned her name properly.
“Hey MITZY! The new employees you just hired are just a bunch of losers! Save yourself some work and stop hiring tattooed people… Actually, I highly suggest you stop hiring homosexuals too, and non-catholics. Pregnant women will also harm the business balance so do not even bother. People with piercings are not trustworthy, you should leave them out; attractive women are quite distracting, as well as women…”
The list went on like anti-Santa’s wish list. Of course, there was no way the manager could have known that the only category she didn't fit into was 'pregnant women.' Originally she had thought, ‘perhaps he wasn’t good at dealing with people?´
Because of her job, Missy had to deal with all kinds of rude and unpleasant people. She was pretty good at keeping it professional, even when misogynous brutes like this one tried to mess with her. Furthermore, she was clever! She knew better than to act rashly. If she wanted to restore the work environment she might as well gather all the detailed evidence to report this man. And so she began to investigate.
Missy had been reading emails and documents inexhaustibly. The man had stolen Powerpoint slides and formats from his previous workplace and had hardly bothered to cover the logos and watermarks... Surely the directors had been too busy to notice it before, right? In addition, her analysis of absenteeism and staff turnover data revealed an alarming pattern: employees who worked directly with the manager had a 30% higher absenteeism rate than the rest of the company. And six out of eight team leaders had got fired or quit suspiciously within seven months.
She conducted interviews with several employees who had worked directly with the manager, and their testimonies were unanimous: the man was a tyrant who used his position to intimidate and humiliate his subordinates, taking refuge in the excuse of implementing the ‘Facing the Giants’1 motivation style and pushing people to their limits.
Finally, her review of the financial documents had revealed that the manager had been using company funds to pay a certification fee to the Eggar Group. Although it seemed like a legitimate expense, Missy knew that the representative of the Eggar Group was actually friends with the manager, and that they had reached an agreement behind closed doors.
Missy started recording all her conversations with Mr Johnson, and soon realized that most of the time, he would deviate from the work topic to talk about his personal life. Soon her mobile ran out of space, most of it filled with conversations about how Mr Johnson always accompanied Mrs Johnson to the supermarket to prevent her from buying ‘unnecessary things,’ or how his child was doing at school. Missy thought maybe the man didn't know how to empathize with his employees or just wasn't interested in doing it, but what was clear was that his lack of professionalism was affecting the way the office was operating.
Eleven months after they’d first met, she was ready. She took all her data, including the figures relating to the lost funds used in the now failed implementation of the Eggar Group. Confident that the evidence would be sufficient to change the tone of the work environment she used to love, she went to the directors' office. However, her enthusiasm quickly faded when the directors received the evidence with a mixture of indifference and justifications.
"It's a generational problem," they said. "Mr Johnson comes from a time when things were done differently." They minimized his actions, claiming that they were just 'differences in perspective.' And worst of all, they protected Mr Johnson from her, telling her they would "talk to him to review the progress of the Eggar Group." But Missy knew that was just an excuse. She had known the directors for three years now. The reality was that they were unwilling to take action against Mr Johnson, and that she had been wasting her time collecting evidence. She was wasting her time here.
SATURDAY 3:00 PM
The highway receded behind her until the car sputtered to a stop. She had been driving for a few hours. At least it wasn’t raining, and hadn’t she wanted to be left alone?
The GPS on her phone marked that the nearest town was twenty miles away, but a road sign a few feet from where her car was now parked indicated ’Tadfield: 3 Miles.’ Possibly the town would have a petrol station and someone could help.
The road was bordered by thick woodland, and what had obviously once been a river, but the watercourse had now dried up into a stagnant piece of marshland, no deeper than ten inches.
Missy started heading to town. Her pace along the road was fast, almost jogging. As she progressed, she started wondering. Was it possible for a boat to float in such a place? She stopped abruptly. In the middle of the swamp was a boat and in that boat was Mr Johnson himself, holding a fishing rod.
Of all the places on Earth, why did he have to be here? Was this man really trying to catch something in the dead lake? He was miserable, pessimistic at best. Was she really going to watch the stubborn man humiliate himself? Had she already become as arrogant as him?
Missy wrinkled her nose with disgust. She had wanted to do this on her own. She would rather have asked anyone but him for a favor, but she found in the moment that she could not move.
Mr Johnson cast the line with an exaggerated gesture, in the style of a quarterback. Then he leaned back into a position that looked uncomfortable.
The line tensed violently. Water began to spurt from under the boat. Flabbergasted, Missy watched a huge silverfish jump so high in the air that the sunlight reflected off its bright scales. It was a really beautiful creature, or however a fish of that magnitude could be described. It fell from the sky like a rocket towards Mr Johnson, who received it as if it were a heavy, pointed missile almost bending him to his knees. Then the almost-lake became as calm as a mirror reflecting the sky.
It so happened that the Them were having their monthly walk through the woods of Tadfield that day. They were no longer kids and therefore couldn’t just spend all their days out playing, just the normal magic of growing up. Still, once a month they gathered in Tadfield just to explore the woods. Being in Tadfield never got old; there were always new things to explore and wonders to discover. Sometimes (when they were feeling especially nostalgic), they might even casually look up old friends from the past.
Before she realised it, Missy had walked so close to the shore that one more step would have taken her into the water. A friendly voice stopped her.
“Lady, are you sure you want to go for a swim in that water?”
A man around Mr Johnson's age had appeared out of nowhere. Missy gasped in surprise.
"Oh! NO, I wasn't... the water…It was almost dry... How come he…?”
Missy heard herself trying to answer the man. Now that someone else was confronting her it seemed to her that the lake had always been full. The man didn't wear any particular uniform, but he had the air of authority and confidence a ranger would summon upon finding a lost hiker.
“You mean Ole bully Greasy Johnson?” Adam looked at the man in the boat, or did he look through him?
"Ole Idiot,” Missy muttered to herself.
“A bloody Jerk if you ask me!” A red-haired woman with a triumphant air joined the conversation. Missy sighed as she nodded her head. It seemed to her these people knew Mr Johnson but felt no need to hide their true feelings.
"You must admit it, Pepper, he is awesome at what he does," said a dark-haired man who arranged a pair of bicycles by a rock.
“And what exactly is it that he does, Brian?” A third man joined the scene. His question had been most reasonable, and although his words were spoken in an inquisitive manner, his posture indicated that he was not in the slightest interested in the answer. He handed out snacks for his group.
“I couldn't have said it better, Pepper; hasn’t changed one bit, although without him, life would be no more,” Adam laughed, offering Missy a snack.
Back in the office, this man had upset the lives of dozens of people... The same man who had destroyed Missy's illusion of stability and caused her several panic attacks was now nonchalantly injecting antibiotics into a huge exotic fish, in the middle of an impossible pond. Everything was very absurd, and this gentleman here was saying life wouldn't be the same without him?
“Wouldn’t be at all,” Adam added as if he had read Missy's thoughts. “But it's obvious, Wensleydale. What he does is…” he made a long pause, worthy of someone who doesn't understand what he does either.
The group stared towards the lake, where Greasy Johnson returned the big fish to the lake with an unusual toss for fishing practices.
“He keeps Tadfield's exotic fish team in shape,” Adam concluded, looking at Wensleydale with a confident smile. Wensleydale raised his eyebrows and nodded.
“Hey!” Upon hearing Tadfield Missy remembered that she was in need of assistance.
“Hello, I... My name is Missy, my car has run out of petrol. Do you know if I could get some in town?” At that moment the small boat began to approach the shore. Missy would have loved to have got out of there before being detected by Mr Johnson.
“Pepper. We certainly can assist you!” the red-haired woman said.
“Of course we can certainly help you GET SOME PETROL!” Adam raised his voice.
“Mitzy, what a surprise to find you here! Don’t tell me you are into fish now?” Greasy was reaching the shore, making an effort to ignore the presence of the strange quartet that now surrounded Missy.
“You wish, Greasy!” Pepper mocked him. To Missy it felt like two children messing with each other.
“Are you in need of petrol? This bunch of hippies ain’t got a drop, they just go around on bicycles like babies. If you are looking for petrol, I’m your best shot here.”
“Thank you but there is no need…”
“Missy.” Adam looked at her with kindness. “No one better to help you out of this.” And by this, Missy was sure the man didn't mean the petrol.
Missy had heard Mr Johnson make complaints about tattooed people and cyclists in general. He used to get in such a bad mood whenever streets turned into bike paths. Who would have guessed he was actually a motorcycle enthusiast?
"I put it together myself!” Greasy said proudly as he uncovered a motorcycle that seemed actually impressive. “At one time Tadfield had a motorcyclist convention or something like that; serious business but I..."
The moment Greasy Johnson began bragging about himself, Missy became aware of something that surprised her. For the first time, she felt genuine rapport toward Greasy Johnson, who after nine months as her colleague had not even had the decency to remember her name. It was not because of his stupid motorcycle or the petrol that he’d very gallantly lent her. Although she couldn’t quite work it out, it may have been that gentle gesture towards the fish that allowed her to see that he showed her how be free to live her life just like that silverfish.
The gratitude she felt towards him at that moment was honest. Afterwards, Missy knew she would never allow anyone to treat her that way ever again.
After pouring some petrol into Missy's car with a plastic bottle, Greasy Johnson had fled upon realizing how many 'top secret' details about the company he had revealed while doing so. Missy followed the cyclists back to Tadfield.
After a rather inspiring chat about this entrepreneur woman from Tadfield from the eighteenth century, Pepper, Wensleydale, Brian and Adam waved her a hopeful farewell. A few weeks afterwards, nobody ever called her Mitzy again. You know what they say: everyone needs a Greasy Johnson from time to time to give themselves a boost.
SOME SUNDAY IN THE SUPERMARKET
Mrs Johnson fetched a basket of mangos and placed it into the shopping cart.
“So now you are hiring a new HR representative?”
“We are. This time we are sure to get a strong lad!” Mr Johnson said as he returned the mangos to the fruit section.
“You truly are insufferable, my love,” Mrs Johnson replied crossly.
“Then why did you marry me?”
“Balance, I guess. I’m really cool,” she said as she flipped through the 'Hot' section of a local magazine with the headline: Open your eyes and get it done by Missy Merchant.
“HAHA, you…”
“Ain’t that your friend Pepper?”
“Gotta go to the loo; see you in the car.” Greasy gave his wife the credit card and walked a bit too fast towards the exit. Mrs Johnson added two mango baskets and the magazine to her cart.
1'Facing the Giants' is a movie Mr Johnson constantly talked about. It is the story of an American football coach who uses his faith to train the team. From time to time it includes pushing the boys to their physical limits in order to get results. Missy used to believe it wasn’t a bad reference, but the manager was not as inspiring as that coach.
So sweet
Date: 2024-12-25 09:38 pm (UTC)Thank you!!
Date: 2024-12-29 02:56 pm (UTC)Missy is such a great character, the way she manages to combine between her own opinions and her job is amazing. Even Danny, who is rather offensive, she scolded while partially agreeing with.
The anti-Santa wish list is a great way to tell the reader more about her character, I might steal this one! And thank you for adding a representation for a non-Catholic person, it's always heart-warming to see someone I can identify with.
Her collecting information about all the wrong things Greasy is doing is very smart. It is not easy to stand up against a manager, even if the other employees also complain about him. Her research is very thorough, talking with former bosses of his is a brilliant idea.
Going on a drive and wanting to be left alone, only to get her car stuck, is such a Crowley move. Poor girl! Good things she didn't panic and do anything foolish, but managed to think clearly and search help. Even if the one she found was not exactly what she was looking for…
Seeing Greasy in the lake was a good twist. Does that mean Adam kept the lake as a pool for his tropical fish? Or maybe the other kids who were in the hospital absorbed some of his powers, and Greasy manifested it himself? Either way, it was a very interesting idea, and a head canon worth exploring.
Good thing The Them were there, or Missy would have found herself in the lake! And, lucky for her, they also shared her opinion about Greasy. Meeting them also helped her to see other sides of the other man, which is always a good thing. Otherwise, she might have refused to take the patrol offered, and had to walk even further!
The end is great, Missy managed to get a job where she will have more place to express her skills. And she even stayed in the touch with Pepper! A perfect ending to a wonderful story, thank you!!
(no subject)
Date: 2025-01-11 10:13 am (UTC)