Gift for bittersweetwish!

[waxbean.livejournal.com]

Title: Past Deeds, Future Born
Rating: PG-13 Teen
Recipient: bittersweetwish
From: malicehaughton
Summary: A few years after the Apocalypse That Wasn't things are going well, until Aziraphale is called on to move to a little town called Tadfield, leaving another angel in his place. An angel Crowley works with in an effort to stop Hell from getting their hands on something rather important.
Author's Notes: Involves an extra angel and demon, most of the original cast of characters, a flaming sword, and Crowely/Aziraphale. It's a bit long too. Hope you enjoy, Bittersweetwish.

Disclaimer – I don’t own any of the familiar characters in this story. They belong to Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett. The angel and demon mentioned that aren’t from Good Omens are mine.


Lurking was by far more of a demonic activity, especially for a certain few who made it more a sport than a pastime, so to see an angel doing a bit of slinking about was a rather odd sight, even though no one was actually seeing it.

Well, not with eyes any way.

Staying as invisible as possible, the Principality made its way through the streets, careful to stay in the shadows and to keep its body low and bent to try and hide itself better.

It hadn’t picked a form yet, but knew that it would need to soon. It had been given a job here, on Earth, which was different from anything it had done before. But first it had to take care of something else. Something it had been told might take quite a while to actually complete.

Some creatures on God’s earth were stubborn and finicky, but that wouldn’t stop it from completing what had been asked. But first things first...it needed to look for the one it had been assigned to find.

An angel, a fellow Principality, called Aziraphale.

*****

The sun was shining brightly down into the Pit and on the Them who sat about on their milk crates, talking about what they could possibly do for their summer break which had just started.

Dog was sniffing about the cracking mud of the dried up watering hole that was usually occupied by frogs and flies, occasionally finding something smelly and interesting to roll in. Adam watched his dog for a while, not really paying any attention to what the other three were saying around him.

Something was different, not...right. Something was going to change, and he didn’t know how or what or why, but he did know that someone he knew would be very hurt by it. Looking about the quarry, he wondered if it would be one of his friends, or someone else. Maybe it would be Anathema, or Newt?

It was definitely someone close to him. Else he wouldn’t be feeling this strongly about it.

“Adam! Oi, snap out of it!” Pepper said, slapping the back of his head to get him out of his thoughts.

He rubbed at his blond curls before turning to her. “Pepper?”

“We were just sayin’ that it might be good to go an’ get some ice cream.”

Oh, yes, of course. Summer day, hot weather, nice bit of sun as it should be and all. “Sure, sounds good,” he said, smiling at her.

The Them were now 13 years old, and things were getting really weird between them. Not enough to break their friendship, he doubted anything could do that, but just normal human stuff. Normal human stuff that was really bizarre.

The adults called it puberty, the Them called it a pain. Especially Pepper. Half the time she really was in pain. And when she was, the three boys definitely knew it. Thankfully, this stuff was taught in schools, so they all knew what was happening on some basic level.

For Adam it was slightly different. Well not the process itself, that was happening normally, well as normally as it could possibly go anyway, but he could feel it on a much more...deeper note. When one was tuned in to their body as much as he was, things tended to make themselves clearer.

It was a very stupid thing to feel. Nothing but overactive hormones and the body changes caused by them.

Standing up, he stretched out a bit, stiff from too much sitting down and not enough activity, and led the way out of the Pit and into the heat of the day. Ice cream really did sound good. Maybe once they all had a cone in hand they could go over to see Anathema and Newt.

It couldn’t hurt to check up on things.

*****

The bell above the shop jingled merrily in its place, which made Aziraphale look up at the person who had just walked in. Usually customers pretty much stayed away, so it was always a surprise when he heard that small bell chime.

No one was there. Sighing, he got up from where he had been working on a database for his books (his poor computer hadn’t had a good work out since last tax season, and it was definitely due a good run) and looked outside. Something falling to the ground with a loud clang drew his attention to an alley not too far away from the shop and he sighed. No customer then, just a child being humorous.

They always seemed to target his shop.

He didn’t really mind this, it kept them out of some real trouble with other shop owners, so with a slight chuckle he let himself back inside, switched the sign on the door around to say that the shop was closed and went back over to his computer.

A message was on the screen.

A message from Above.

If he had been anyone else he would have thought he was going completely insane, but he wasn’t, and he was an angel, so he bent down lower to the computer to carefully read through it again. A few minutes later he was sitting ramrod straight in his chair and reaching for his phone.

He needed to call Crowley to see whether he had gotten a similar message from his people, or if this was unique to just him.

He hoped they were in a similar position, or he was going to get very upset, and he couldn’t do that without major consequences.

Hitting the speed dial for Crowley’s phone (Crowley had programmed it himself, as Aziraphale had not wanted to touch anything but the numbers in case he did something wrong and needed to either buy a new phone, or use a miracle to heal it which would get him laughed at) he was actually rather surprised when the demon answered after the third ring. Either he had unwanted company, or was bored out of his mind.

“Crowley? Are you alone?” he asked, not wanting to get the demon into trouble if he had a few...’friends’ over.

“Yeah. Aziraphale? What’s wrong?”

Aziraphale blinked and looked around the shop, checking whether the demon was hiding somewhere and had bypassed the call onto his mobile. “Er, what makes you think something is wrong?”

A snort was heard on the other end. “You’re calling me. Enough said. Usually it’s the other way round.”

“Oh...”

He hadn’t been thinking too clearly on that one. He only ever called Crowley in emergencies, when of course the demon was busy elsewhere and not home to pick up the call. Which explained why he was so surprised to be getting an answer.

“I...received a message.”

Silence on the other end of the line was all the answer he got. Either Crowley was waiting for him to continue, or was being a pain about all this. Either way wouldn’t really surprise him. Aziraphale cleared his throat. “A message, you know...from Upstairs.”

“And...”

“And they say I am being...reassigned. Still in England but not in London.”

This time the silence stretched on, and he knew that Crowley was wondering the same things he had. Was this some elaborate plan to keep the two of them separated, or was Aziraphale just not good enough for a city, and was instead to be shipped off to a town somewhere.

“Did they say where?”

“No, just that my replacement would be by later today. Crowley, my shop, my books. I can’t take them with me.”

Even more silence followed that. “You need to leave today? I can’t exactly take your books.”

Aziraphale sighed heavily. He had known that, really he had. What would a demon do with a bunch of old bibles? “I don’t know. I need to ... I don’t know what to do...I don’t want to leave. I’ve been here for centuries.”

“Yeah...well, I’ll visit. Depending on the place naturally...”

Letting out his breath in a rush, Aziraphale shook his head. “Wouldn’t you get in trouble? I mean...not necessarily with your people but...with the new angel? I mean, I expect whoever takes my place would try and do their best to stop you.”

Crowley chuckled lightly on the other end of the phone, and Aziraphale felt like hitting the demon to get him to shut up. “Nice to know you care. Well, if I disappear off the radar, you know why.”

“Don’t say things like that! You’ll visit me?” He could hear the desperation in his own voice at the thought of losing the only friend he really had. He hated that it made him feel guilty, and hurt, and angry. None of those things were quite...right.

“You know I will. Every weekend. I’ll let the angel have free reign then. Imagine the kind of mischief I can get around to where you go? Sounds like a good break.”

“Alright. Well, I better go then. Keep in touch. I’ll call you when I reach my new post.”

Crowley hung up without saying goodbye. The demon always did, but this time it was a bit more abrupt than usual, probably because to him it felt like a true goodbye. Who knew what would happen with someone else in his place here in London? Crowley could be killed for all he knew, and the thought terrified him.

It shouldn’t, but it did anyway. No wonder he was being shipped off to somewhere else. He wasn’t exactly the world’s best angel. He was too...human. Gone native as it were. He thought too much like them.

He felt too much like them.

But now all he could do was sit and wait for his visitor to come and replace him, and tell him the name of his new town.

He hoped his replacement got lost somewhere along the way.

* * * * * * * * * *

It had found the place rather easily, and slipped through the door, the shape it had chosen a young female human and sought out the owner. It was rather surprised, and yet quite delighted at the collection of literature in the rooms, most of which it could see were very well preserved copies of their Lord’s book.

Well, the Word as the humans interpreted it. Some things were naturally a little different now. It had been rewritten too many times to have stayed in its original form. The books were kept here, nice and safe from the outside world, kept by their protector, the angel it would replace. The books were now its right.

Slowly walking to the kitchen, a delicious smell of what it had come to know as ‘tea’ was wafting out and it sat down at the table opposite the angel Aziraphale. A cup of the liquid appeared in front of it.

“I got your message,” Aziraphale stated, looking down at his own cup, before taking a sip.

“Yes. It is time Aziraphale, time to relocate. The books are now in my upkeep.”

With a sigh born from an emotion it didn’t know, Aziraphale nodded and stood. “I am ready.”

The tone of voice stated otherwise, but it was too wise to say anything about that.

It told the other angel where its next post was to be and got the shock of its life on earth as Aziraphale passed out at the news. It wondered if all angels that had been here as long as Aziraphale did this.

It chalked it up to one of the dangers of overworking.

* * * * * * * * * *

The feeling that something was wrong came back to Adam later that night, while he was having dinner with his family. His sister was home, and telling of her latest travels in Africa, where she had been on safari with her boyfriend.

Adam knew that secretly the two had gotten married, but didn’t bother telling Sarah he knew this, or his parents either. It wasn’t any of his business until it was announced here, and it would be soon. It was the reason the two had come back.

Sarah was pregnant, and had only just found out. She would be staying home until the baby was born. Maybe even longer than that.

It was the longest his sister had ever stayed at home for one visit. It should get really interesting. Family things seemed incomplete without her, like camping and hiking, and picnics. Then of course he thought of being an uncle at the age of 14 and he got all nervous and fluttery inside.

Was he supposed to become an uncle? Was it right to be an uncle this young? Was someone with his...uniqueness cut out for babysitting some innocent child, or would he corrupt the baby without even trying?

That last question made him upset. Damn emotions were out of control nowadays. What he was had never really been much of a problem since he started and then stopped the end of the world.

Plus, until Sarah told them officially, like the marriage thing, he would have to pretend he didn’t know.

He sighed and picked at his dinner. He wasn’t hungry tonight, which was odd. Lately he had been hungry a lot of the time. Maybe something didn’t feel right because he was sick? It was the kind of thing he didn’t normally feel. He couldn’t remember being sick even once before.

“Son, eat something, or you’ll stop growing.”

Adam looked at his Dad, ate a bit of what was in front of him, sighed again and put down his knife and fork. “I’m not really hungry. Think I might be getting sick or something.”

His mum lifted up her hand and put it to his forehead and frowned. “You do feel a bit hot.”

Ah, so he was probably getting sick then. He pushed the wrongness he was feeling away. He had the reason for it now. The someone close to him in trouble was himself. It could be anything from a cold to a raging disease that could kill him, but it was himself that was wrong.

“Can I go lie down?” he asked, looking at his dad as he spoke. With a frown and another hand to his forehead, his father sighed, gave him permission to leave the table and Adam made his way to his room.

Maybe if he got some sleep he would feel better come morning. He had the day planned out with the Them, and he didn’t want to miss the fun.

His dreams were filled with fire, which didn’t surprise him in the least, and he woke up with a fever. He guessed he was going to miss the fun day out after all.

He was told to stay in bed by his parents.

* * * * * * * * * *

Tadfield.

Of all the places in the world he could have been sent to, it had been Tadfield. He had asked once he had woken up and found himself on the floor (he had been rather embarrassed. It wasn’t often he fell down in a faint, and the replacement seemed entirely too relieved at that when he had told it) whether it was lower or upper, but had just received the one word again. Tadfield. Home of apocalypse stopping antichrists, witches and their witch hunters, and an entirely too nice weather system to be normal.

Well, it was odd but now that he thought of it, he was surprisingly relieved and yet terrified that it was Tadfield. He knew people there. Anathema and Newt, who were now permanent residents, Adam of course, the antichrist himself, and he knew that Crowley wouldn’t get into any trouble visiting him there, unless his replacement (whose name was Anael) followed.

But to live there, so close to the place that had almost ended up destroying the Earth he loved so much, was like a living reminder of past mistakes. What he had done during the Apocalypse that wasn’t was now more than likely turning around and biting him on his...well, Crowley would either laugh until he was crying over this, or be just as terrified as he was.

Knowing the demon, he would do both. First laugh and then when it truly hit home where Aziraphale was now posted, go into a tirade of angry swearing that would end with both of them drunk and spouting philosophy.

That last didn’t sound too bad right now. He could do with a drink, but first he had to move. And he was going to have to go the old fashioned way of flying. Using public transport would be wrong in this situation.

He’d be tired by the time he got there. It took a few hours for Crowley to drive there at breakneck speed. Well, at least it wasn’t a bigger distance, and he could stop to rest along the way, seeing as no oceans were between him and his destination.

He was being watched, and he knew this, so he carefully packed up what he wanted to take with him, putting it all in a bag he could easily carry in his hands without dropping it, while leaving his wings free to move, made himself, his bag and all possessions inside invisible to human eyes and took off.

He would need to find himself a nice cottage there, and that was one thing he was looking forward to. It had been ages since he had lived in a cottage home, literally.

It was a shame really, that he hadn’t been able to say goodbye properly to Crowley.

Still, at least he would be somewhere that would be pretty to look at. And if he was really lucky it wasn’t a permanent position, just a temporary job until Anael had finished whatever task it had been assigned.

* * * * * * * * * *

The telly was turned off quickly when they decided to ‘try’ again right then and there. Newt was getting used to the abruptness of his fiancée, especially when it came to the good old fashioned way of baby making. She was unstoppable really. He had given up saying that he wasn’t really in the right mood after the first three times it happened.

Maybe he was actually getting the hang of the whole sex with other people thing. He was doing enough of it, with Anathema, and he usually felt rather good, if not a bit sleepy afterwards.
It was when she wanted it more than once in a row that he really objected. She had stopped trying. Maybe later he would be able to do that, but his body just didn’t have the stamina for it right now.

She really wanted an heir. He wanted to wait until they were married, but if it kept her happy, he would give her anything she asked for.

Knowing their luck they’d end up doing both on the same day. A wedding followed by a birth.

Yep, now that would be a memorable day.

She stopped the rather enjoyable things she was doing, frowned, got up and went into the bathroom.

If he was really lucky, he would soon find out that the reason for that was because she was already pregnant. She was out of there again a minute later, still frowning. “Sorry Newt. Really, it’s just...something didn’t feel right.”

Newt let his expression fall into the closest thing he could make to a kicked puppy. He didn’t feel right? “Oh, well, I’m sure I could do better.”

Anathema blinked at him, confused for a second before her eyes cleared and she laughed. “I didn’t mean that, I meant in a general sense. I can’t concentrate on you if I am too busy trying to figure out what feels...wrong.”

So, she liked to make him feel good just as much as he liked to please her. Well! That was nice to know. He smiled back at her, beaming, despite the ache in his not so private regions.

She swooped on him and showed him that while she hadn’t the mind to have full on sex, she could still please him while thinking of other things. He decided he would forgive her for having her mind a mile away as he eased back down to the rug, exhausted.

It was still better having someone do that to him then doing it himself. What would he be like if he had never met Anathema? Still a virgin, he was betting. No other girl had so much as looked at him twice, and he thought paying for things like this was decidedly wrong.

She was still thinking by the time he had gained back his breath and put his clothes back on. He wasn’t going anywhere that day, so it didn’t matter if his clothing was all rumpled.

When there was a knock upon the door, Anathema jumped to her feet to answer it right away, only to let the Them in (minus Adam) a few seconds later. She was frowning.

“Adam’s sick.”

Newt stood up too fast and fell back down, knocking their video player they had off its stand (a feat in itself really, considering it was on a bench under the telly) and cursing, got back up, more slowly this time.

Well, he knew that Anathema’s hunch of something being wrong had definitely been right. As far as he knew Adam had never once gotten sick.

This was Bad.

* * * * * * * * * *

Crowley had managed to drift off into a pleasant sleep sometime around 6am, and was rather pissed off when he was woken up by the insistent ringing of his phone by his bed. It took him a minute to remember why he put his mobile there to begin with and when that sunk in, he lunged at it and hoped he caught Aziraphale before he gave up on the call and he had to wait for tomorrow.

“This better be you, angel, or I am turning this phone off for good.”

It was an empty threat. He liked his phone, and used it for not only business reasons, but also for just plain fun. Ringtones were among the best things he had ever thought of. They could entertain one for hours if they had the stamina for it.

“I can’t believe they sent me here!” Aziraphale whispered fiercely to him from the other end.

“Er...where?”

“Tadfield!”

He went silent at that. Aziraphale, the angel who had defied everything and decided to fight on the side of humans instead of that of his own kind, had been sent to work in the same town that said fight had taken place.

“Tadfield?”

“Yes! I’m staying in a hotel for tonight, will find my own place tomorrow. Probably visit a few people. I think I owe that nice woman an apology for what happened to her book.”

“They are all still living there?! Bless, it’s been what, 2 years since that day?”

“Yes. Well, Anathema and her nice fellow, the one with the amphibian’s name, decided to stay here. The children naturally aren’t old enough to leave.”

“Newt. I think it was short for Newton.”

Aziraphale stopped talking and Crowley heard the sounds of a door opening and closing, and he could hear the clink of metal on china, as the angel made himself some tea. He sniggered at the next words that came out of the angel’s mouth.

“Well, at least they have good tea. And food. Really, maybe it won’t be so bad.”

“Yeah, well, tell Adam I say hello. Sort of thing I should probably say, seeing as how he’s the antichrist.”

That made Aziraphale pause on his end, before the angel sighed loudly. “Yes, well, I better hang up now. They charge by the minute here.”

“Bye then,” he said before hanging up fast, not hearing whether the angel had said it back.

He lay back down nice and comfortably, but he knew for a fact he wouldn’t get any more sleep that day. He was too busy thinking of the world ending, and Aziraphale being stuck in a place where he had gotten pretty bloody close to knowing what it would feel like to trip up.

He still wondered how it was that he could Fall for one tiny little thing, but his angel friend could do all the things he’d done, including defy God and other angels and still remain an angel.

Well, as long as Aziraphale could keep his nose clean, neither of them should get into any trouble, with either Above, Below, or Adam.

* * * * * * * * * *

Sitting in Jasmine cottage’s kitchen, gathered around the dining table, the Them, Anathema and Newt (who had gotten dressed to save himself some embarrassing questions later on) were listening to Pepper talking.

While Wensleydale and Brian knew as much as Pepper, they knew better than to challenge her authority when Adam was not around. She was much more domineering then either of the two boys. With her eyes wild and arms waving as she told them of Adam’s turn for the worse, it looked to the others as if she were on fire.

All four were watching her closely as she explained about their missing numbers’ mysterious fever, two listening to every word she was saying looking for some kind of clue that it might mean the end of the world. The other two were just plain watching. Drool may or may not have been seen at the corners of their mouths, and neither one was willing to stand up at that particular moment in time.

Both young boys would deny anything if asked, so the adults decided to not say anything. Kids at this age were too unstable for it to go over well.

Pepper was enjoying herself immensely.

“And so, we thought it might be best if we told you lot, as you all know ‘bout Adam an’ all.”

Newt and Anathema nodded, both knowing that it may not be necessary that they were told, but both relieved to know that while they were adults, they were still considered as part of the small group, just by earlier interaction.

It was good to be needed by someone, even if it was just a bunch of kids, one of whom also happens to be the antichrist.

They all jumped at the unexpected sound of the doorbell ringing through the kitchen. After all, it couldn’t be Adam and no one else usually visited the nice couple living in Jasmine cottage. Anathema got up and went to the door, wondering who on Earth it could be.

When she opened the door and saw a familiar face she frowned, before turning an accusing finger on him. “You! You’re the one who stole and then burned my book!”

The looks that flickered across his face were priceless, first surprise, followed by a look of confusion, which swiftly changed into disgust. “I didn’t burn it, and I found it in the backseat of the Bentley. I was going to give it back. I just needed to read it first to see...I had a nice collection of books on prophecy. Been gone a day and I already miss my books.”

Anathema stopped pointing at him and lowered her hand back to her side. “Oh...well it was gone and the last place I remembered it was when I bumped into the car. And you helped me put everything away.”

The man in front of her blinked, got a glazed look in his eyes before looking back at her. “I was teased for a week over the bike incident just so you know. And the straps being Tartan. Crowley almost had a fit.”

Anathema remembered the old Phaeton as opposed to the new Phaeton and blinked. “Yes, well, tell your boyfriend I’m sorry if I scratched the paint on his car.”

Those eyes, she couldn’t really tell whether they were a vibrant blue, or a storm grey, or somewhere in between the two, got wide and a cough escaped him. “Boyfriend? No, we aren’t together. Well, like that anyway. The last thing I need right now is to draw that kind of attention on myself, and it isn’t right to begin with.”

Anathema crossed her arms under her chest. “I think it is sweet, not wrong. Love is love after all.”

He blinked at her. “Oh! No, no, I didn’t mean that. I meant in the way that it would be a very, very bad idea for the both of us, plus neither of us is very much of a sexual being in that sense in the first place. We’ve been somewhat friends for the past 6000 years. Nothing more, a lot of times less though.”

“How’s that work then?” came a voice behind Anathema before Pepper walked up to them. “Sort of like a Romeo and Juliet thing?”

Aziraphale blinked and just stood there looking confused. “Er...well you see once before time began there was a War, and quite a few angels Fell and became demons. The War is pretty much still going on you see, and, well, it’s bad enough we are friends.”

Pepper nodded. “So, like Romeo and Juliet. Forbidden lovers, heh. Sweet.”

“We are not lovers! What gave you that impression anyway?”

Anathema smiled. “You were like a maniac and I was beginning to wonder if I was going to be raped or killed by you, and then he called you angel.”

He closed his eyes. “That’s because I AM one...”

Anathema and Pepper both nodded. They had seen him with his wings out after all, they already knew that. And yet they still had thought...

“Well, it doesn’t matter now anyway. I was just reassigned here...I don’t know if it is temporary or permanent. Thought I might check up on a few familiar faces.”

Anathema soon ushered the angel into her home, anger at the Book she had kept most of her life being gone vanishing just as fast as it had appeared at the thought of another familiar and friendly face that would now be around quite a bit. “Well, nearly everyone is here. Except Adam. He’s sick at home.”

“He’s sick. Ah, well hope he gets better soon then.”

The rest of the Them and Newt heard this and stared at him, Anathema frowned. “You don’t think this is a bad thing? Adam hasn’t been sick before. Very healthy that boy is.”

Aziraphale smiled. “His mind is probably on other things, rather than keeping himself healthy. It’s all a matter of will power for him.”

It was as if even the cottage itself sighed with relief. The tightness of the area seemed to dissipate with his words and Anathema felt herself relax more than she had since she first thought that something felt off.

“My, you people should learn to keep calm.”

And suddenly everyone was laughing and sitting down and drinking the tea which had just appeared in the middle of the table. There was also an extra chair, and enough room for eight instead of six.

All at the table had seen stranger things.

Aziraphale found that he would probably enjoy his time here if all days went as well as this one. The Them calmed down a lot and went off to play in the chalk quarry after their second cup of tea, and Anathema and Newt stated that he was quite welcome to stay in their cottage until he got his own.

He accepted the offer of a bed for the night, even though he had already picked out a nice little cottage nearby for himself, ready to be moved into tomorrow. He rarely slept, but until he found his footing properly, any escape from reality seemed good to him.

* * * * * * * * * *

Books, Anael was finding out the hard way, were a lot trickier than it had first thought. As was having a corporeal form. It had taken a while to get used to walking without pulling out its wings, and when it forgot, the feathers would make a right mess all over the floor from bumping into books and tables and other solid things inside the bookshop Aziraphale had owned.

The books took up space, and a lot of it. They could be either light or heavy, but both kinds hurt if they fell on you from shelves, especially if they happened to hit you on the head. It wasn’t stupid really, it had been able to sense the power of one of the Fallen a mile away, and while the demon kept its distance, that didn’t stop it from playing silly little tricks.

It wouldn’t mind so much, if it had been anything but these particular books that were being flung at its head. Not used to pain, it was getting to be ridiculous to be assaulted when it decided to have a go at reading one of the biblical texts.

There was a sadness in the shop that seemed to permeate everything and Anael knew it wasn’t its own sadness, it didn’t know the feeling, hoped never to learn it.

It didn’t take long to recognise a pattern though, and so when it felt like reading, Anael waited until midnight by the human clocks, then it would be left in peace.

It was this slight break from utter human childishness on the demon’s part that stopped Anael form going straight over to where it felt the demon and destroying it. But until it had fully made itself at home, Anael was going to ignore the games.

The first thing it had to do was learn how to act human. Or at least human enough to pass for one.

It needed to really, it was about to run into a bit of trouble.

Anael just hoped that it was strong enough to stop what it knew was going to happen.

* * * * * * * * * *

Raging fires sprang from the ground and deposited a shape that wasn’t remotely human, but soon tried to get itself into a shape that resembled one. It fell short, but not far. If people didn’t look too closely, they might mistake the demon for a punk kid with a Mohawk, really bad skin and piercings that made the ‘normal’ people (not too many people so much as blinked, but a few old people had a habit of staring and scowling) wonder if it had been very painful.

The shape was female, mainly because it had business up here with a certain demon that was usually ignored and the less likely it looked to cause harm, the less likely it was that it would be doused in holy water like Hastur claimed happened to Ligur.

The silly little snake had disposed a Duke of Hell, but that wasn’t why it was here. No, it wanted something much stronger than one puny, little, barely in the ranks demon that preferred earth to the wicked pleasures one could find in Hell if one happened to be a demon.

It was after something bigger, and it knew that Crawly knew where to find it.

Oh, that’s right, the snake went by the name Crowley now didn’t he? Well, it, no she, would have to remember that. Yes, it may be more important to not go around antagonising him.

She realised it had been a good idea to take on a female form. Now all she needed to do was choose a fitting name for her first little foray into the world above the fiery pits that had been her home for so long.

* * * * * * * * * *

Dog barked from his place at the foot of Adam’s bed, and the boy felt as if his head would split in two from the sound. He raised his head slightly to glare at the mongrel, and was glad when the dog jumped off the bed to hide under it.

Adam lowered his head back to his pillow and sighed. He wasn’t getting any worse, but he wasn’t getting better either, and he knew, knew, that something wasn’t quite right beside himself.

He had been wrong to push the odd feeling that someone was in danger away. It wasn’t him, he would survive, it was someone else.

He could feel the presence of a demon that was up to no good, and he knew that it really wanted something but Adam, his mind hazy with fever, couldn’t figure out just what it was. And he knew that was a very bad thing.

Someone was in danger....still. And the danger kept on creeping closer. And right this moment if he tried to walk, he would just get dizzy and fall over or throw up. He had earlier that morning at any rate.

He couldn’t concentrate either. It was almost like something was stopping him from getting better.

He hoped that was just the fever making him imagine things.

* * * * * * * * * *

Staying with Anathema and Newt was rather pleasant. He had been given a spare bedroom that looked like it was ready to be changed into a nursery at the drop of a metaphorical hat. The way the two couldn’t keep their hands off each other made Aziraphale smile. Love, it could be so wonderful, though a bit messy sometimes.

He tuned them out until they went to sleep, and then tried for a bit of rest himself. It wasn’t going to happen. Every time he closed his eyes, he kept picturing his shop going up in flames, taking with it all his books (again) or the new angel breaking their spines because it hadn’t quite got the hang of how to look after them yet.

Even worse was when his imagination ran away with him and he kept thinking of Crowley, alone, trying to fend off the holy wrath of an angel. Or some angry demon sent from Hell to collect Crowley because he was now out of the way.

Had it all been some kind of plan to get to Crowley? Some even larger plan just to get him? He couldn’t be sure and he wished that he had Anathema’s book of prophecies with him.

He needed to know.

But it wasn’t for him to know, he supposed, all he could do was to be a good little angel until he was allowed back home (if he was allowed back at all) and to make sure that Crowley was safe if and when that happened.

He would call his demon friend first thing in the morning to check up on him. He had the slightest hunch that he was not only angering the new angel, but that there was some even bigger danger.

Being around someone for 6000 years or so was usually a good way to develop a bond of some kind with them and he felt a slight pulse of an unfamiliar demonic signature he hadn’t encountered before, and it was close to Crowley.

He couldn’t help it. He worried, and he wouldn’t feel better until that pulse of demonic energy was gone from the earth.

* * * * * * * * * *

Crowley woke up during the night. That in itself was strange, but the really odd thing was the banging noise that he soon recognised as someone knocking on the door.

Slowly Crowley pulled himself out of bed, leaving his glasses behind in order to scare whatever little creep had woke him up when he had been having such pleasant dreams involving himself, Aziraphale and ... what in the world had he been dreaming about?!

What he had seen while he was asleep soon vanished completely out of his head when he recognised the unmistakeable feeling of another demon standing on the other side of the door.

Frowning, but aware of the utter stupidity of standing right there when the one on the other side would be able to sense exactly where he was, he opened the door and took a few huge steps away from the doorway.

It was a punk. A female punk. Or its imitation of one anyway. Instead of hair it had rather spiky pieces of hard green flesh that imitated a hairdo. Its skin was an off shade of grey instead of one of the normal colours for humans. What at first glance seemed to be piercings were actually bony nodules.

All up, Crowley decided, this demon did a much better job at looking human than either Hastur or Ligur had ever dared to try.

“Crowley.”

Gulping and nodding slightly, it wasn’t as if he could really deny it. He was one of the few demons who spent most of their time on Earth instead of in Hell.

“I name myself Shae.”

At the mention of that name Crowley’s heart sank in his chest. Metaphorically speaking anyway. Literally, it sped up and started pumping blood so fast it made him feel slightly dizzy. He went to his couch and sat down before he fell over in his sudden fear of being run out of his flat and forcefully dragged back to Hell, this stranger in front of him his replacement.

What a nasty trick, getting rid of Aziraphale like this just to get to him. Unless both of them were being punished, which was just as likely.

What, with Apocalypses stopping instead of continuing like they should. For that matter...was there even such a thing as a plural for Apocalypse. He knew there shouldn’t be. There was supposed to be only the one.

Shae laughed at him, as she stepped inside and closed the door with a slam of finality. This was it. He was forever banished to Manchester knew where.

“I’m not here to take your place, snake. I need your help to find something very important I have been ordered to get and I am told that you would know where to look for it.”

The tight feeling in his chest loosened slightly. He shifted on his couch. You could never really trust a demon. They lied. This could still be some trick to drag his sorry arse back ‘home’.

“Looking for something? What makes you think I know where it is?”

Shae smiled at him, showing rows of sharp, pointy teeth. “I have been told that your angel friend is close to it. I can sense an angel nearby. I believe he owns a bookshop near here.”

While breathing, or for that matter even having a heart that could beat, wasn’t really necessary for him, he found that while he wanted to, he was stunned to the point of not being able to suck in enough oxygen.

“What about the angel?” he whispered, not knowing whether the demon Shae knew that Aziraphale had been reassigned or not. If not at least he could get rid of Aziraphale’s replacement easily enough. He could tell the demon in front of him was tough.

“He guards it, even though he mightn’t know he does. That is all I know. I will know it when I see it.”

“A book. Gotta be a book, he hoards them...” Crowley muttered to himself, before remembering that it wasn’t the best thing to do in the company he was currently in.

“Perhaps...” Shae replied, smiling at him again with her mouth full of sharp teeth.

Great! Shae really did think that the angel in the bookshop was Aziraphale, though it wasn’t. So, news of Aziraphale’s reassignment hadn’t gotten back to Hell yet. Still, now he felt obliged to help the other angel, the one he had been messing about in very childish ways just to see how it would react, and would somehow need to make friends with it. Or at least pretend to be friends.

He wondered briefly if the new angel even knew what friendship felt like.

He didn’t know what its human body looked like yet...the last thing he could afford was to look shocked over it. Still, first things first, he needed to get rid of Shae for a bit. He needed to talk with Aziraphale’s replacement and explain the situation before things spiralled out of control.
Aziraphale after all was part of his plan, and if he intended to keep Hell thinking that Aziraphale was still here, he would need the new angel’s cooperation.

He couldn’t see a way to get that. But it had to be done...and fast. Hopefully after a phone call, and with a lot of luck, he could arrange a meeting. He would promise to not hurt the angel anymore, even with a silly book. Well, not until this mess was cleared up.

Either way, he really needed to keep the angel inside the shop at all times to guard it, and he needed to make sure that Shae kept thinking that it was Aziraphale.

This was going to be difficult.

He couldn’t let Shae get her hands on any of the books, even if it wasn’t a bible or a book of prophecy.

Prophecy. Yes, it must be one of those books...

It seemed that the world was once again heading towards an Apocalypse.

* * * * * * * * * *

Anael sat at the small table in the kitchen, a cup of the tea Aziraphale was so fond of in front of it. No, her. She had to get used to it. The body she had chosen was female, and humans didn’t normally call themselves ‘it’ as a sex, so it had started calling itself by the female words.

She, her, woman, girl, female. It was so much to get used to, but since a customer had come in and started calling her girl she had decided that it would be really worth learning the human way of thinking.

Now she understood why Aziraphale always insisted on being called ‘he’ since most of his bodies had been male. It all made so much more sense now that she was here.

The tea was hot and burned her tongue when she took a sip, and she quickly put the cup down. The pain of one’s corporeal form was annoying, especially when it came as unexpected as that.

Pain was something completely new to her. Even more so than using the right word for the gender she had chosen. She wondered how the humans dealt with it all the time. Ah well, one of those little things one must learn while living on Earth.

Another thing that was completely new was the strange ringing sound she knew was the phone. She had gotten a crash course on some of the newer implements the mortal beings used, and the telephone was one of them. So, when she heard the odd sound, which sounded a bit like bells that were out of tune and cracked, she found the contraption and picked up the receiver.

“Hello?” she asked, not sure how the thing actually worked, only that you talked and you could hear the words the one on the other end was speaking. It was a rather ingenious thing really. She was glad she got to try it.

“Hey, you took over from Aziraphale, yeah? Whatever you do, don’t hang up on me, this is very, very important.”

Anael froze a bit at that. “Demon...”

“Yes! I’ll stop throwing books at you if you listen to me. They don’t know yet, and it would be better if it stayed that way.”

She blinked. Who didn’t know what? “Huh?”

“Shit, just...don’t hang up and listen alright?”

“Alright demon, I will listen if you start making sense,” she yelled wondering if the being on the other end could hear her properly or not.

“Ow! Fuck, you don’t have to shout you know...there’s a demon after something in the shop. She thinks that you are Aziraphale. It is important that she continues thinking this, alright? And that means I will need to speak to you in person sometime soon. I won’t do anything bad, promise. And I assure you that I keep my word. Ask Aziraphale if you ever see him again.”

Blinking again, Anael wondered just what she was getting herself into by taking this job in the first place. “So soon? I thought I would have time to at least acclimatise myself first...” She said it softly, so the demon wouldn’t be able to hear her.

There was a creepy silence on the other end of the phone. “Hmm, so, Upstairs knew that this might be happening. Things are beginning to make a bit of sense. Well, no matter. Stay in the shop, and don’t leave. I don’t know what it is the demon is after, but I bet it’s one of the books. Probably one of the prophecy ones, seems much more likely than a bible. Especially since it is a demon that’s after it.”

“Yes...” she had thought the same, once she had had a good look at the collection of books that Aziraphale had collected over the centuries.

“I’ll...come over sometime tomorrow. Give you a short crash course on Aziraphale. No one knows that angel better than me.”

There was something oddly true about that, and Anael believed it. Aziraphale had been stationed on earth since the Beginning. Over 6000 years was a long time to develop one’s own unique brand of acting and thinking. Still, it was unnerving to hear a demon say that he knew more about an angel than Heaven did.

Well, she knew that He would know more about Aziraphale than anyone else, but He knew everything. “Will I need to change sex? I was just getting used to this form.”

There was a short pause from the demon on the other end of the line. “Might help, they don’t know what he looks like. Just...make yourself look male and it should be alright.”

“You know what he looks like...”

“Yes, but for the most part I am ignored, so be grateful for that.”

A demon that was basically ignored by Hell and who had a permanent status here on the earth? Even Aziraphale wasn’t ignored. His behaviour was explained away for the most part as being eccentric from spending too much time on Earth.

Was it worse for demons to do so than it was for angels?

“Yes...I will await you tomorrow then.”

“Good,” was all the answer she got before there was a loud clunk that hurt her ear and a weird beeping sound that wouldn’t stop. She put the receiver back on its cradle and walked back to the table, looking down at the tea.

She took another sip, this time smiling at the taste and the nice warmth that it infused into her body as she drank.

She concentrated on the body she was in for a bit longer and changed it that little bit more male in structure. She kept the face and hair the same, as she was used to seeing them in a mirror by now whenever she passed one. No, he now. He, male, man, his, him. A whole new set of gender related words to get used to.

Was life ever easy for the beings on this plane of existence?

He didn’t think so.

* * * * * * * * * *

Aziraphale felt the unfamiliar sensation of waking up after having fallen asleep. Someone was above him, shaking his shoulder gently, trying to wake him and he opened his eyes to look at whoever it was blearily.

“Hmm?” he asked, recognising Newt.

“Breakfast is ready. Anathema wants to know if you want anything.”

When he sat up, the blanket over him fell and pooled at his waist, his clothes were rumpled beyond what they were used to, he looked back at the young man beside him and smiled kindly. “Oh, yes I would like that. It has been a while since I had company for breakfast.”

He wasn’t lying, the last time had been on one of the occasions he had forgotten to sober up at Crowley’s flat and had passed out on the floor for the night. Thankfully he wasn’t the only one who had suffered a few minutes of a hangover before remembering that he could get rid of it with a thought.

That morning they’d only had toast, this morning it was a proper breakfast all laid out and looking good enough to devour within minutes. He helped himself to some sausage and egg, a bit of bacon on the side, and a few pieces of toast with marmalade.

They talked about silly things all the way through, the perfect weather, how cute babies were when still unable to even crawl, London, books they had read, and most embarrassingly of all, whether or not knowing someone for 6000 plus years made you automatically a couple.

He had said no, the other two looked at him as if he were crazy.

“But that does remind me, I need to call Crowley. I felt another demonic presence near him last night and it worries me.” He really didn’t like the looks on the two faces beside him. They seemed all too pleased with themselves. Didn’t they understand that it might be something Bad? For Crowley, if not himself.

“What? The last thing either of us wants is to be dragged back to either place and left to face the consequences. I don’t know what would be worse, me or him in trouble, and I should be, I really, really should be...”

“Why?”

It was Newt who asked, and Aziraphale shuddered. “For...past actions.”

They both understood what he was talking about and frowned as much as he was.

“You can use our phone. It’s in the family room.”

He nodded to Anathema, got up, and quickly dialled the number he was so familiar with. The phone was picked up in record time. “Aziraphale? Whatever you do, don’t come back here, not even for a visit. Your replacement has accepted my terms for the time being considering what you felt last night, but don’t worry overly much, it isn’t here for me.”

Aziraphale blinked. “Wait a moment...you are working with Anael? Whatever for? How could it possibly not be bad if you are willing to work with her?”

“Oh, Anael’s going to be doing a bit of pretending that’s all, for that matter so am I. Won’t get into trouble though,” Crowley said and something in his voice made Aziraphale suddenly want to fly back there right that second and stop whatever was happening himself.

“Pretend what exactly?”

“That he’s you. Sex change, to make it more real. Prefers female form though, heh.”

“What?!”

“Yeah it will make sense when I explain it later, until then though, I won’t be visiting and it would be best not to call either.”

“So...I am left here on my own until whatever is going on is over. Nice to know who your friends are, isn’t it?!”

Crowley was silent for a while on the other end of the line, before he spoke again. “Angel, calm down, it’s not a permanent thing. Once this is fixed I even think you can come back here.”

“Don’t call me that! Bastard! Maybe in the end they will drag you back to Hell.”

The silence after that was longer than the first and seemed to stretch on for eternity, and they both knew what eternity was. “Aziraphale?”

He hung up, not even bothering to answer Crowley’s unspoken question of whether anything was wrong. If the demon wanted to find him, then he could crawl all the way here to do so.

As a snake.

He had been abandoned by the only person he thought he was even remotely close to. Without a backwards glance at Anathema or Newt, he made his way out of the house and towards the little cottage he had rented for himself.

And then a thought occurred to him. Adam was here in this village wasn’t he? Well, maybe he could have a nice little chat with the antichrist and ask what was going on. Adam knew just as much as He did, after all. And that was exactly what he needed right now, someone to tell him that he had overreacted to Crowley’s words.

He went to his cottage first, and almost decided it was nice until he remembered the conversation he had just had and he became angry again.

He lay down on the couch he had miracle up in the living room and pulled out a book hoping to distract himself by reading.

A nice chat with Adam, no matter how terrifying the thought was, seemed to be his best course of action. He would visit the Young residence later that afternoon, once he was feeling a little calmer.

Part II

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